Betsy Jo "SweetRowles"

"Blessings." By Laura Story.

2011-05-14T17:17:00.000-07:00

A song that has really touched me. I heard it the first time just two days ago on the radio. I love it and it is in line with the way my thoughts have gone the last few months. The link to listen to the song is right below. Below that (in case the link does not work) I've pasted the lyrics.

Blessings, by Laura Story

We pray for blessings, we pray for peace

Comfort for family, protection while we sleep

We pray for healing, for prosperity

We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

All the while You hear each spoken need

Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears?

What if a thousand sleepless nights

Are what it takes to know You're near?

What if trials of this life

Are Your mercies in disguise?

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear

We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near

We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love

As if every promise from Your Word is not enough

And all the while You hear each desperate plea

And long that we'd have faith to believe

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears?

And what if a thousand sleepless nights

Are what it takes to know You're near?

And what if trials of this life

Are Your mercies in disguise?

When friends betray us, when darkness seems to win

We know that pain reminds this heart

That this is not, this is not our home

It's not our home

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears?

And what if a thousand sleepless nights

Are what it takes to know You're near?

What if my greatest disappointments

Or the aching of this life

Is the revealing of a greater thirst

This world can't satisfy?

And what if trials of this life

The rain, the storms, the hardest nights

Are Your mercies in disguise?

Rowles Family California & Yuma Spring Break Vacation - In Pictures

2011-04-20T17:27:00.000-07:00

The Rowles family on the Sundial Bridge in Redding. It was a wonderful night for a walk and so good to get out of the car and use our legs!

We stopped for an afternoon in Loma Linda where we had a wonderful picnic in the park with former Willamette students. Sarah and Jordan were there as well as Elise and Roshan. WONDERFUL to catch up with these ladies. A definite highlight of the vacation for me.

At the house that Jim and JoAnn rented for a couple of weeks in Yuma. The house was perfect for us and we spent hours outside playing. The weather was about 80-85 the entire time we were there. PERFECT!

JoAnn got the boys squirt guns. She only got two to begin with, so a quick trip to the store yielded another one for the "big" boy who had felt left out! They kept the boys entertained for hours.

My place in the sun! Yes, that is Layth mercilessly squirting Soren in the background!

Jim and JoAnn relaxing in the shade. We ate most of our meals outside at this table. We'd sit around it and talk following. Love those warm nights!

We spent a lot of time in the river as well. Layth and the boys taking a break to pose for a picture for me

The park was directly under an active railroad trestle. Trains would come and stop regularly. It was loud, but kinda cool.

Keiton on the beach near the river

My little brother who lives in Virginia with his wife and three girls happened to be IN YUMA on work-related issues the exact same time we were! What a tremendous blessing for all of us to get to spend every evening with Uncle Kenny. Here he is with the boys.

And, here's my little bro and I the last night we were in town. I thoroughly enjoyed every moment I got with him. I only see him every few years so this was a HUGE treat for both of us!

We spent a morning/early afternoon in Mexico. Went to lunch, bought some stuff... and here we are waiting in line at the border crossing.

JoAnn bought a pinata for Keiton in Mexico and filled it with candy. We then had an early birthday party for him. The boys LOVED it!

Keiton getting ready to swing at the pinata

Keiton swinging at the pinata

Soren swinging at the pinata. We eventually took the blindfold off the boys and they took turns swinging until it broke apart.

Here is Keiton showing off his portion of the Pinata candy. I think we still have some left!

Keiton - at his Yuma 4th Birthday celebration.

One morning we left the house and went for a walk along the river. It was wonderful!

At the end of the walk was a HUGE castle playground where we spent quite a bit of time. Here is Layth and I (me and my prince charming) in the castle.

Grandpa Jim and Keiton taking a break.

The Rowles family

On our way home, after a lunch stop at D.R. in Aliso Viejo, we drove to and stayed the night in Ventura, CA on the coast. We took some time to walk out to the end of the Ventura pier - the longest pier in California. It was beautiful. Soren asked if he could take a picture so Layth and I posed. Not to be left out, Keiton jumped in at the last minute.

Me and my boys on the pier

Layth and the boys on the pier

Here we are at the end with the mainland in the background. It was beautiful; it really was.

And, that is a snapshot of our 2011 Spring Break Family Vacation. It was wonderful and relaxing. I'm ready to do it again!!

God's Faithfulness

2011-03-01T14:53:00.000-08:00

God's Faithfulness... I have been thinking about this A LOT lately. As I begin to write this it is Tuesday afternoon and three of the four jobs that Layth interviewed with to the end, have fallen through. For one reason for another.  But through it all I am drawn to write about God's faithfulness. I don't know what will happen with this last and final potential position. If this one does not pan out we are "back to square one" so to speak. And yet, if none of these "sure deals" pan out in the end does that mean that God is not faithful? What if we continue down this journey for another 3 months or 9 months or a year? Does that mean that God is not faithful?

God's faithfulness to us is not tied to "things" or circumstances that flow in our favor. Even if we end up losing our house, running out of savings... God is STILL faithful to us. Why? Because as I mentioned, His faithfulness to me is not determined on how He meets my perceived needs.

Think of those who have lost a child, or those who are ill and even through prayer are not recovering. Is God not faithful to them?

God IS faithful to them.   God's faithfulness = those things He provides for us and in us, that flow from His character. I have learned this through the last year and a half of my life. I have peace that is inexplicable, joy that radiates from deep within and is not dependant on my circumstances, perseverance that is drawn from somewhere besides myself. God's faithfulness... THAT is what I am experiencing. On a day by day basis. Peace. Joy. Perseverance. All of these find their origin in God.  God offers me joy because He is faithful; He is the source of joy. God offers me peace as He proves to me He is faithful; He is the source of peace. God offers me perseverance in a display of His faithfulness; He is the source of perseverance.

So, even if Layth returns from this final interview and is not offered the job.   Never will I say "God was not faithful in this circumstance." He has been faithful for He has offered me at all times, His peace, joy and perseverance. THAT is the faithfulness of God.

I am not saying that we should not attribute to God the many-time miraculous ways He provides... in all things; both big and small. He is with us daily and delights in giving us good gifts and providing for us; many times over and above what we can even ask or imagine. But to attribute His faithfulness to only those circumstances which finally come to fruition is to miss the point that He is faithful in ALL circumstances. Even the ones that end "terrible."

I am SO glad that I can count on Him to be faithful. No matter what happens. He is the Well that I draw from and His water (for me right now: peace, joy, persevereance) is never-ending. He is faithful to provide. In Him will I trust, no matter the outcome.

Clothes... and not the jeans & sweater kind!

2011-02-28T21:00:00.000-08:00

It's been a while. What's going on? Lots is going on and nothing is going on; which is why I haven't blogged in a while.

Layth continues with his job search. It will be interesting to see where we land. He's pretty excited about one of the potentials that we'll know the answer to soon. We just continue to trust in God. We both know He is faithful and we ultimately want His will. When we pray together about the situation I find that we really are on the same page as far as how we're viewing this season of life.

He's been sick. Like, really ,really sick. Today was the first time I saw him up and around since last Wednesday. He took a nap this afternoon and was down for the count this evening by 7pm, so it's still got him wiped out. But, he is improving each and every day.

Me? I'm busy planning our trip to Salem. Our trip to Arizona. Our trip to the island. So much fun! Had coffee with a friend the other day. That was wonderful. The first time we'd ever gotten together.   I really enjoyed it. Had Girls Night with my mom and sis. Always a wonderful experience. It would have been nice to have had another hour or so at dinner since the show went for three hours and so we headed straight home following, but I cherish the time I do get with them.

Still watching little Olivia. What a joy!!

That's about it in my world, I guess. REALLY looking forward to a weekend in Salem. I'm working on connecting with several people there that I've not seen since we moved. Plus, we have a whole-group get together on Sunday afternoon. Can hardly wait.

I started to write the post below a few days ago (I think it was last Saturday, the day it happened) but didn't get it done. I finished it tonight and so here it is. An area of conviction that hit me directly between the eyes.

We were getting ready to leave and I told Keiton, for the third time, to put his pants on (he was running around in his underwear, a common occurrence around here).   He sighed heavily and in resignation with jeans in hand he said, "I'm tired of putting my pants on."

My first thought was "oh boy, if you're tired already of putting your pants on at age 3, you've got a LONG life ahead of you."

My second thought was a verse from Colossians that popped into my head. (pesky verse). "Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." (Colossians 3:12).

"Oh", I sighed inwardly still overseeing the pants putting on process of my child, "I know how you feel after-all".

I was immediately convicted.  How many times a day does God command me to pull on the clothes of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience and I simply avoid the command, thinking to myself instead "I'm simply too tired to do it." I ignore His call to clothe myself as His child and instead, in the nakedness of my own sinful nature, I lash out, give a grumpy retort, or dwell on the injustice done to me.   I can always seem to find a justification for discounting His command - especially in THAT situation (you know because you have "that situation" too, everyday): the one where someone is demanding my time or attention when I'm stressed, I'm hungry, things aren't going the way I planned, I have a lot going on, the request is unreasonable... you get the idea. Always something.

And yet, in the same way that I asked my child to get dressed to be ready for the outside world, so God has asked me to "clothe" myself with certain garments as His child. Compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. These garments reveal to those around me that I am His child.   I want to be recognized as His child. I really do.   Not only to the world around me, but to my husband and children at home as well. This is where it gets really convicting for me... right here at home.  I know I need work in this area. I'm sure that is why the Holy Spirit planted the verse in my mind right at that time. And then wouldn't let it go.

Even though it may be difficult for me to practice these things on a daily and moment-by-moment basis, I am commanded to do it. God did not give me the option, really. He made it very clear.  "Clothe yourselves," the verse says - it is an action phrase, complete with a verb. It demands that I DO something which means, unfortunately, that it will not come naturally. (but I already know that!). Anything that does not come naturally is work and takes a certain measure of effort. Like my 3-year old grunting his way into his jeans in obedience to me, even if it is difficult I need obey God, make the choice to overcome my natural state and instead reveal those characteristics that He deems worthy of His children.   Compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

Yes, even at home with my husband and children and yes, even in “that situation,” too!

Reasons for Moving

2011-02-13T23:02:00.000-08:00

Tonight, at the end of this weekend, I am feeling "full". So blessed.

Friday's lunch/afternoon date with Jenny and her kids was so good for my soul. And hers too, it would appear. Then Saturday night we had dinner with friends; friends that go way back. Friends originally from Salem in fact. They invited another couple that I had not met previously and we sat around the dinner table for three hours talking about work, our stories, how God was working and interacting in our lives. What real fellowship we shared around that table. It was edifying and focused on things of the Lord. Refreshing.

At one point, Jeff asked Layth why he thought God had moved us to Seattle. Point blank. Layth, without hesitation said "oh, I know why He moved us. There are two reasons He moved us here."

I was intrigued with what he would say - bottom line. We've talked about a lot of things over the months, but never so concise as "these two things."

"Number one," Layth declared, "for Olivia. Betsy's niece. Definetely. There was some prophecy even surrounding that event and I have no doubt that we were moved here to be here for her." (we went on to tell the story)

"And number two" he said and then gestured toward me, "for Betsy to go through a maturing process."

Wow.

There you have it... the reasons we are in Seattle. Olivia and for Betsy to mature. And you know what? I think he's right. I have matured in the past 9 months, more than I can say. I am the same Betsy - still the same personality with the same quirks - but at the same time I am a different person than I was a year ago. I guess my "On Being Remade" post touched on the pain of the process and a general end-result.

I am so glad that God brought me here so that I could mature. Lessons that I needed to learn but was too comfortable to "go there" in Salem have been dealt and learned. I think at one point I talked about how glad I was that we moved because Salem had me "stuck in a rut" and "the only way I could learn certain things was to leave there." I'm not sure that is true. It was my own fault that I wasn't moving forward in Salem... not Salem's fault that I wasn't moving forward. Perhaps even, God tried to get my attention in various ways but I ignored Him, or he gave me tests that I failed to pass. Whatever it was, it was not Salem's fault; it was my own. So God, in His ultimate wisdom and in His love,care and concern for me removed me from that complacent place. And gave me some shock treatment. In the end, it was the way He could get my attention. And, it worked! Like a cold lake on a hot afternoon; a little shocking but oh so refreshing. He is good and I am healthy; all glory to Him.

Specific ways I have matured? Stephanie asked me this question later that night after Jeff and Chrissy left. Layth and I stayed another two hours and the guys talked in one room while Steph and I talked in another and during the course of the conversation she asked me specifically how I was different from when I first moved. I stumbled around - it is so hard to explain something so ambiguous. At the same time, I think it is important to pinpoint the specifics so that I know long-term what has taken place. I think I'm still working through the process and a little bit of time will give me solid perspective. That being said, I have definitely matured, changed... and Layth has obviously noticed it because he was pretty adamant that my maturing process was one of the two main reasons for our move.

This morning at church we actually had three different families that we saw that said "hi" and stopped to talk to us. Thank you, Lord! I took Keiton to his Sunday school and there was Katie - Keiton recognized her too and went right in. SO NICE to have another small person that I recognize besides my own. Shawn and Jenny sat one row behind us in church and then we did Costco lunch together following. Costco was crazy busy and it was chaotic and loud and all that, but it was something together and we found out they love outdoorsy type stuff, they play racquetball... they are spontaneous "when we're in your area we'll drop by your place and you guys feel free to do the same." Wonderful! I'm a little jealous of Jenny, her and three of her good friends from where they moved are spending a week together - no kids - in Disney World here in a couple of weeks. Oh, that would be glorious - to spend several days with my Salem girls somewhere. If any of you read this, how about it? Where and when?! Sign me up!

I have such mixed feelings at this point about Layth looking for a job and potentially moving elsewhere. Crazy, isn't it? I think I'm OK with whatever takes place. Bothell, Auburn, Portland or Salem kind of thing. Although, every week that passes and I make more connections here, plus family being so near, the more difficult it would be to move away, believe it or not. Moving back to Salem would definitely ease the pain (as opposed to starting over someplace else). Just glad that God is in control and I can trust Him. Praying that whatever takes place I have the maturity to handle it well!

Finding maturity -finally - on this journey...

--Betsy

A High Adrenaline Day

2011-02-11T22:20:00.000-08:00

Today was a high-adrenaline day.

Layth had a phone interview this morning that went very well. It landed him an invitation for an on-site interview. While he was on that interview a place in Vancouver contacted him for a second-round of phone interviews to happen in a little over a week. That round will be one hour interviews with 4 different people. And then, he got a call later in the afternoon about another company that would like him to interview - he would have his pick of Seattle or Portland as locations if he landed that job. And then late this afternoon, an email for another interview. So, by my count, he has 8 interviews in the next 10-12 days... So far. CRAZY!

Went over to a friends house today and it was awesome. Soren made a friend and I am SO GLAD. He has been wanting a friend here so much. Kyle is 7 and the first thing they did was get out Battleship to play (which is one of Soren's favorites) and from there they went onto football and soccer outside, then back inside for a round of wrestling, a few games of UNO and then racing a home-made obstacle course over and over and over and over. Soren could not have been happier. Keiton played with Katie most of the time and they got along great. With two older brothers Katie was fine with playing cars and legos and even wrestling. Jenny and I talked. With many, many interruptions of course. It was loud and chaotic, but that's the story of both of our lives and so we just talked in-between the disruptions. We found we could relate on so many levels with our moves and all. It was a healthy talk; not "woe-is-me" stuff, but frank honesty about how we were dealing with things. We'll definitely get together again, soon. We have to, Soren came home in one of her boys' pants after his ended up soaked from tackle football outside. Not sure if they were Kyle or Collins.

Came away with some perspective today as well. Jenny had mentioned earlier that she could not get together one day because she was going to be at the hospital all day. Come to find out, her youngest son (5 years old) has Leukemia! That was a shock. I asked her the story and she told me, and then talked about God's faithfulness, provision and peace through it all. They will be done with treatments in October finally after 2-3 years. We saw some of the effects today as he was on his after-chemo steroids. I am reminded that health is not something I should take for granted and I am thankful to God that as of yet, we have not had any issues like that in our family. What a crazy journey to have such a young child experiencing and enduring that sort of illness.

Tonight was MoPS Auction. I enjoyed it. We came away with home-made bread and a dozen home-grown eggs. Our table had a good time and I definitely feel like I got to know some people better as a result.

Now we're finally home and tomorrow night we're having dinner with some friends we knew from Salem... actually two different couples that we knew in Salem. And one couple from here that I do not know, but the other two couples do. I am very much looking forward to that!

I am also looking forward to sleeping in. I hope i get to sleep in. I'd better get to sleep in.

I am working on my goals for this year. At the end of every December at our anniversary, Layth and I evaluate goals we set from the year before and then set new ones for the upcoming year. We set goals - 4 to 6 usually in each of these areas:

Personal Goals
"Others" Goals - includes ministry, friendships, praying for certain people, etc
Spiritual Goals
Couple Goals - we do these together
Family Goals - we do these together

First, we spend time evaluating how we think we did for each specific goal and then we share with each other how our thoughts. Then we spend time in prayer and set our own goals (personal, others, spiritual) and then share with each other what they are and then we discuss together what we want our couple and family goals to be. It spurs fantastic communication, honesty (we talk very openly with each other about our failures and successes) as well as driving great conversation. Layth and I each have a journal that we bought on our first anniversary that is just for these goal-sessions and so I have a record in one place of all my goals and evaluations since we began. It's pretty cool.

Anyways, one of my personal goals this year is to read through my goals once a month to remind myself of the goals. So, I got it out today again and read through them and chose two to work on in the next couple of weeks. I really like that we do what we do. SO many things have been accomplished as a result of goal-setting in my life personally and in our life as a couple and as a family. I'll have to post sometime about some of the great things that have taken place because we are so vigilant.

That's enough for tonight.

With all these interviews taking place, I can't help but wonder where we'll be and what we'll know in regards to our future two weeks from now...

Thankful for health and peace through the journey...

--Betsy

Nothing Very Exciting

2011-02-09T22:20:00.000-08:00

Not a whole lot to say tonight. It's been a good week so far. I love the sunny weather. It brightens my mood and somehow I have more energy. Of course, it also gives the boys more energy. Man, has it been loud and busy in here the last few days. The boys love playing together and will do so for an hour or two at a time, but it is loud play, VERY loud play!

Had MoPS yesterday and it was great. At the end I was asked to be on Steering next year (actually, it's a two year commitment). I declined because I have no idea where we are going to "land" and really, moving is about as likely as staying at this point. I don't want them to plan on me and then I tell them in three months that I'm leaving. So, I told her that I could not commit to it at this point. I'm not sure MoPS is where my heart lies anyways. It has given me a place this year for which I have been very grateful, but my ministry heart-beat seems to lie elsewhere still. It was nice to be valued though for what I could contribute and officially asked.

I did it finally. I got my haircut. I like it I guess. Its shorter than it's been in a while, but still simple like it was and honestly, hardly anyone even notices. But, I feel good with it cut and look forward to two weeks from now when I am used to it and have done it a few times to know the styling method that works best with the cut.

We had family night last night. We played kids' games all evening. Yup, I cannot wait until a couple of years when we can break out the older kids' games. One can only handle so many dozens of games of Uno, Candyland, Chutes and Ladders and Hi-Ho Cherry-O. Soren wanted to play some older kids' games, but we needed to include Keiton too so those are the ones we played. The boys LOVED the evening of course. That definetely made it worth it. Oh, and the fact that Layth said we were earning rewards in heaven for it!

Layth is still interviewing a lot. He had an on-site one yesterday that went well. It's a company that places people for temporary or permanent work. As a result of the interview so far already he has a phone interview on Friday with a place in Bellevue. From the company and the job description it is one that he is pretty excited about. There are 4 people vying for the job though at this point so we'll see what hte Lord has in store.

He has a second-round technical phone interview as well with another place in Seattle on Monday.

The one in Vancouver, we've not heard anymore about, but it still is the best lead he has. He expects to hear about that one the end of this week or beginning of next.

And, that's life right now. Getting together with a friend on Friday afternoon and I'm excited about that. Have plans as well for Friday night, Saturday night and for Valentines on Monday night. Looking forward to a busy and full weekend.

Just heard the dryer stop which is VERY good news because that means I can put the clothes from the washer into the dryer and get myself to bed. Olivia shows up at 5:15am tomorrow morning again and I'm ready to get some sleep in between now and then. Granted, she generally sleeps for another couple of hours but I don't sleep well on these nights afraid I'll oversleep and not be up and downstairs for my sister to arrive and then once I am up, I am finding it almost impossible to go back to sleep.

Alright, nothing deep. Nothing exciting. But you know what? I'm OK with that sometimes! It's rather refreshing actually, now that I think about it.

the journey continues...

Betsy

Pink in a black & white (or should I say blue?) World

2011-02-05T22:01:00.000-08:00

I began watching Olivia this week. What a joy! I miss her when she's not around and so do the boys. In fact tonight, mom had her for a couple of hours and we went to her place just after she left and as we got out of the car Soren remarked "I hope Olivia is still here."

It was cute the first morning we had her. The boys woke up at their usual time and I was downstairs getting laundry and I guess Olivia must have been making some noises because when I came upstairs a couple of minutes later, the boys were not in their room, but hiding under my bed next to where Olivia was. I told them they could come out and the conversations we had surrounding her that first day were precious. Everything from what she could do, (walk, talk, crawl, etc) to what she should be when she grows up. Keiton calls her "cutie" and Olivia follows him with her eyes. She thinks he's the greatest and will give smiles to him when he's around and paying attention to her.

She brings pink stuff with her... pink socks, a pink burp-rag, a pink blanket and pink hat. By the end of the day of course, these pink things are scattered around - a burp rag on the couch where I last fed her, a pink sock on the floor where it fell off her, a hat on the coffee table next to her carseat from when I took her out. My perception as I go around the house collecting things is that of a black and white existence except for the pink. It's like one of those touched up photos where they do the whole thing black and white except for one particular object that they want to stand out so they give only that thing color. I see black and white and a bring splash of pink... like it is the only thing with color. She brings pink; a color I've not yet known, to my world. I love it! I love her!

Other news:

Felt useful today which was so nice! Our small group prepared lunch for one of the jr high retreat groups. So I took my food over and stayed for lunch. Got to meet some new people which was really nice while doing a service project.

Called Jennie this morning to see if they wanted to get together tonight and she said they totally would, but they were headed to the coast to meet up with some friends of theirs from where they used to live that were there for the weekend. So, we planned a mcd's lunchdate for Monday with the kids. I'm looking forward to it. My first one since I've moved here... 9 months later!

Going over to our small group leader's house tomorrow for the superbowl. Looking forward to that too. It will be nice to just hang with all of them.

Things are finally picking up in my world. Although, I've found that (besides missing the social interaction) I really like the slower-paced lifestyle we have here. Every day is basically the same and its consistent and I'm not overly tired, overbooked or stressed; my house stays fairly clean and I always seem to have time to make a sufficient dinner. I like our pace. It is healthy and relaxing. I am finding that I spend more time with the boys as well and am loving it! I'm finding real joy in parenting. My kids definitely get a whole lot more of me than they ever used too! Slowing down and being "alone" with my family has in many ways opened my eyes to joys that I did not know existed. Namely, the joy of being HOME. (a year ago, I never thought I'd say something like that!).

That being said, we all would like more social interaction and the boys ask consistently if we can visit Salem or invite friends over; that sort of thing. Speaking of Salem, Alicia had her birthday today and had everyone over for cake. I miss Salem. Even though my heart is in a healthy place in regards to our move, I do still miss everyone there. Some days more than others. Tonight I'm missing them a lot. What fantastic friends they are!

And right now, not only am I so very thankful for amazing friends from where I came from, but I'm thankful for life here: for service projects, and a family with kids our kids' age and a planned lunch date, an evening out with adult friends planned for next weekend, our small group leaders who invited us over to spend the afternoon watching football with them, a family that is healthy (on many levels) and a husband that listens to me and talks to me, a baby girl that brings pink to my life while I get to love on her, and family that lives oh-so-close that I can drop in on a moment's notice. So many blessings and so much to be thankful for.

Time for one episode of Eureka before bed.

Finding pink in this journey and thankful for it...

Betsy

On being remade

2011-01-31T22:05:00.000-08:00

This is a post I've been working on for a while now, actually. Most of my posts are just off the cuff, but this one has been percolating for a while. I think I'll finally post it tonight. Then I don't have to think about it anymore!

You'll get the idea as you read it. It's not written out of woe-is-me, but out of a recognition of what is taking place in my life right now. And as a result, character is being built and I am maturing. I'm a slow-learner unfortunately, but slow is better than not at all, right?...

------
I feel the pain of it. It is unavoidable. But it is for a good cause and because of that I endure it. Not always with a smile on my face, mind you. I definitely complain about it more than I should, and at times I even fight against it but I'm learning to allow it. And sometimes for a moment, I even embrace it. I'm in the process of being re-made. I keep thinking of the analogy C.S. Lewis uses in his book "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader." Eustace, who is quite the "pill" turns into a dragon at one point and in his misery he realizes just how terrible of a boy he has been. After a few days of dragon-living, he meets the Lion, Aslan (God-figure) and with the help only Aslan can give, he goes through the process of being remade into a boy again. A new boy. A better boy. At Aslan's instructions Eustace begins to "shed his skin," tearing the scales from his body. He does this, but finds another layer of rough, ugly skin underneath so he does it again, and again, and again. Aslan asks Eustace if he wants his help. Eustace replies "yes," for now he recognizes that alone he can never shed all the layers. As Aslan reaches his claws deep into Eustace's rough and thick skin to remove the ugliness, Eustace feels searing pain, as if the claw has reached all the way to his heart. Oh, how it hurts him. But he endures it. When the process if finally complete, Eustace catches a glimpse of his reflection in a pool and he sees himself... kind of. It is himself for sure, but it is a new Eustace. A somehow different Eustace. A better Eustace.

That is how I am feeling these days. I am being re-made. And it is painful, reaching to levels of the heart I've not dealt with in a long time. Our move and the fact that I am alone in the "desert" here has provided the catalyst for this remaking. I've tried to shed the rough, ugly skin myself while not seeking the help of the only One who can truly remove the unpleasantness. But that it futile and so I am seeking His help in the process.

It is painful, this maturing process. It is a process I would rather not go through but more than my aversion to the pain, I desire to become the Betsy that God intended me to be, not the dragon-Betsy that exists in this world. And to be the person God intends means allowing His hands to do their work to mold, shape, remove and replace the old and ugly with the new, even though it is extremely painful at times.

This process of being re-made is affecting every area of my life. It is a personal journey, but it has affected positively my parenting, the relationship I have with my husband, how I view the world and the interactions I have with others.

I still have layers and layers to go, I realize that. But every scale that falls, every bit of ugly skin that is removed by my Heavenly Father is done in love and with my best intentions in mind and ultimately... it yields a new person. A better person.

I Corinthians 3:18 is one of my favorites:
"And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit."

Weary, but not without hope!

2011-01-23T23:04:00.000-08:00

What a crazy day! It is 10:30pm on-the-dot and for the first time today, I am at home and actually sitting down!

Started with church, home for a quick lunch, off to Costco and Fred Meyer, home to make dinner for my family, take it all over to my sister's house for her birthday dinner and party, leave there at 7, head home and leave again at 7:30 for a Girls Night with some friends. Finally home now. I am exhausted in more ways than one!

Nothing happens by coincidence, I am confident of that! God orchestrates all things and I am so glad of His timing. I've had a week of dialogue with God that has resulted in a totally different perspective on our move, my Salem life and friends, etc. It's been a dialogue that has been healthy and wonderful and freeing in so many ways.

So, when I talk about what I'm going to talk about, it is not from the old "pity-party" place where I was, even two weeks ago. It is from a healthy place that does not have me longing to run back to Salem, but gives me such an appreciation for what I had there. The feelings and thoughts are not born out of a yearning for yesterday, but a reflection of where I want to go from here. Please keep that in mind. Here goes...

I miss my Salem ladies. I miss my Salem friends. ALL of them! Tonight I went out with some friends and I don't think I said more than about 6 sentences the entire two and half hours. I have begun wondering, (through my dialogue with God this week, actually. I think he was preparing me) if this group is where I'm supposed to be and after tonight I'm thinking it is not. This group of people are just focused on different things than I am. The things they talk about and are interested in aren't "bad" or immoral, just different than my interests. The topics of conversation; I have nothing in common with them (except kids,but we didn't talk about them).

I came home and Layth was all-excited; hopeful that I'd made connections and so he met me at the door and said "did you have fun? I can't wait to hear about it." I wasn't two sentences in before the tears came. Seriously, tears?! I was shocked I felt so strongly about my evening. As we talked it became clear to me. Making connections in a new place is hard; very hard. I was determined to do it though knowing that it takes time. A lot of time. But tonight, I realized (and this is why the tears) that this group is not one I think I will ever truly connect with. I hadn't known that previously. We had never gotten to the level that we finally did tonight for me to know this.

7 months of trying so hard... and now here I am. Back at square one. It's time to start over in some senses. Do I look for a new group? Is that the answer? I am sad. I am disappointed. I am weary at the thought of starting "over" again; of taking the time and energy to try a different group while not knowing if it will work out for me in the end.

I am OK though in the deepest part of me because I know God will speak to my longings and in His time my needs in this area will be met. I really am OK. And I'm not writing it to try and convince myself!

"When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul."
Psalm 94.19

Thanking God tonight for HIM, that He dialogues with me on a personal level.

Soren asked me the other day how we can hear God talking (he keeps asking if God has told us where our next house is going to be and I told him God hasn't told us yet). We had a conversation about how God talks to us. And man, have I heard God talking to me in so many ways lately. And so clearly! He meets me in my time of need and gives peace to my soul; peace that passes understanding. He's doing it again tonight.

weary on the journey, but not without hope...

--Betsy

Wrestling with God

2011-01-21T20:53:00.000-08:00

I am hesitant to even write about it because I know the tendency will be to forget or choose not to heed what I've heard, but here goes...

A couple of nights ago I "wrestled with God." Perhaps you've been there. I couldn't sleep, my mind was going a hundred miles an hour. I was kind of having a pity-party with myself; it was late, I was emotional, tired, thinking way too much. FINALLY, I started talking to God about it all and then... He started talking back. Clearly and in a way I could not ignore, with promptings I could not ignore.

His main message to me? STOP PUTTING SO MUCH ENERGY, TIME, THOUGHT, AND EMOTION INTO LOOKING BEHIND YOU AND FIGHTING AGAINST THINGS THAT ARE OUT OF YOUR CONTROL IN THE PRESENT.

In essence, He told me that I had been wasting time and energy because I have been dwelling way too much on what used to be, getting upset about what might be happening with things that are beyond my control, and experiencing major frustration that I cannot have what I want right now.

"Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference!"

In a moment I realized that I had spent a whole lot of time worrying and crying over things that cannot be changed. Holding on to people, places and things that are now in my past.

Now, I don't think the time I've spent doing that - going through the grieving process - has been in vain because it was something I needed to work through to be healthy on the other side (as with any "death", grieving needs to take place to be healthy and it can be a long and even ugly process) but God clearly told me that particular phase of grieving is over. And I needed to be done with it. NOW. Not next week, not next month. Now was the time to let it go. And so, we wrestled a bit... you know, just for an hour or two into the wee hours of the night, until I finally conceded.

I cannot even explain the difference in perspective I have. From one day to the next. From one hour to the next, my whole outlook on life is different. My perspective has shifted and I have focus. Seriously, it was a God-moment. A God-thing. Wonderful.

I started out the post by saying I was hesitant to write about it because I know human nature well enough... no, I know MYSELF well enough to know that I very well may take the whole thing back. The anxiety, the "worry", the wishing, the wondering... In fact, I've had to remind myself already a couple of times that I've given it up and given it over. As soon as I remind myself, the temptation to return to my old ordeal flees from me. The experience and interaction I had with my Heavenly Father the other night was so real and so personal I cannot help but know for sure what I was instructed to do. What a burden has been lifted!

Letting go of these things does not mean that I have to let go of the friendships or the memories or the future relationships with the Salem people that I love. It is more of a mindset that I am adopting in the present. Enjoying the friendships I have from there... but not obsessing over them. This is freedom for me people. This is healthy. This is good!

In other news - yesterday was wonderful. For the FIRST TIME since I've moved here (well, except when Salem friends have visited) I went to a kids play place NOT alone, but with other ladies and felt a part of things. It was just an hour and a half, although Naomi and I did head to Kent Station following and do some shopping together with the kids in the rain. But for that hour and a half I had girlfriend conversation while the kids played. With interruptions of course, for we all had kids there. But it was sooo great! And, I feel like I connected with a couple of ladies better than I have to date. Then last night we ended up staying at small group until almost ten. When we were officially done we just sat and talked and I had a great conversation with one of the ladies for close to a 1/2 hour. It was just a good day (perhaps the best so far since we've moved here) in regards to social interaction. Thank you Lord.

He is showing Himself faithful once again. Not that I'm surprised. The fact that He is faithful has kept me afloat these past few months.

Time to watch a movie now before heading to bed.

With joy on the journey...

--Betsy

The Roller-coaster of job hunting

2011-01-19T21:58:00.000-08:00

Man, I forgot what a crazy roller-coaster ride looking for a job can be. The interview that Layth had yesterday that went so well didn't mature into anything else. We got home tonight and found an email from the recruiter saying they were going to pursue other candidates. Weird, actually. The Company Recruiter really liked Layth and told him she'd talk to the manager about an on-site interview and get back to him soon, so it must have been the hiring manager who decided not to pursue him. We know that Layth had the recommendation from the recruiter. So, that job is a dead end. I know that Layth was excited about the possibility and so that makes me sad that it stopped where it did. But, the Lord has something else in mind and I'm OK with that when all is said and done. (and so is he). Still, my stomach sank as I read the email and I have the icky feeling now. By tomorrow I'll be fine, but rejection is never fun.

An OK day. The normal really. Take Soren to school, come home and shower, clean house some, listen in on Layth's interview, debrief with Layth about his interview. Andrea called then and we talked for an hour. Definitely the highlight for me. Reading with Soren, quiet time that included reading and a quick nap. Then I got up and cleaned like crazy for two hours. Took the kids to AWANA and then Layth and i went out for dinner where we talked (well, I did most of the talking, I guess). Pick up kids, come home and put them to bed, watch Chuck and now blog.

Nothing more to really say today I guess. Replaying bits and pieces of the conversation I had with Andrea. Still debriefing it in my mind as I come to conclusions. Wish this move could just be clean and smooth and not so complicated. But it is what it is.

The journey continues...

--Betsy

Three Lines of Thought

2011-01-18T22:33:00.000-08:00

FINALLY. I found someone that understands and has affirmed that "it's OK how and what you're feeling and going through."

But first, I don't know how to narrow down what I want to write about tonight. I have too many thoughts!

1. Thoughts that have been percolating in my head for weeks now, confirmed first by a comment in Pastor Mike's sermon and now again in this morning's DROP'S post.

2. A friend who now does "Ten on Tuesdays" on her blog. Ten random things about whatever that you post every Tuesday, bullet-point style. Fun, or what!?

3. More thoughts on our move from Salem and how I'm coping, inspired and affirmed by my Breaking Free study.

Maybe I'll touch on all three, but first I have to start with Keiton's prayer tonight at dinner.

"Dear Jesus, thank you for my friends and for my family. And I pray that mommy and daddy don't fall and break their heads or their necks so that I don't see mommy and daddys blood all over. Aaamen!" I'll tell ya, never a dull moment here. Even at prayer time!

A great day today. Bible study this morning (it was fantastic and meaningful), followed by listening in to a phone interview that Layth had that went very well (they're scheduling an on-site interview now), followed by some reading and even a short nap. Get up and clean, someone else calls for Layth to schedule a phone interview for tomorrow morning, I get an email inviting me to a play-date (OK, it's for our whole MoPS table, but I'll take it!), make dinner and then "Family night". The boys have been BEGGING to go to the Bouncy House place in the mall since they first laid eyes on it two months ago. Finally tonight we went. They played hard for two hours while Layth and I sat and played cards, talked and read some. A McD's icecream on the way home and now I'm here blogging. A nice pace.

OK, on with my issues.

I think I'll start with #3 first. My move from Salem.

Beth Moore in her Breaking Free study on the day of "Hearts Broken by Loss" after listing a bunch of losses she went through including death of someone close to her, the loss of a 7-year foster son of theirs, two of her best friends moving away and more says this:

"Many emotions have swept over me during the last two years, but if you asked which emotion served as the common denominator, I would not hesitate to say grief. In fact, I was somewhat taken aback over the feelings of grief accompanying the moving of my two best fiends. The grieving seemed out of place to me in relation to my other losses yet oddly unavoidable."

Then the question for the reader to answer was this:

"What about you? Have you ever experienced feelings of grief that surprised you or almost seemed inappropriate through a change in jobs, homes, health or relationships?"

YES! YES! YES! This is EXACTLY how I've felt the last several months since the move. Like the grief I've felt at moving (largely due to leaving the SNG Group) has been "inappropriate". I mean, I moved NEAR family! Who wouldn't want that? What in the world do I have to complain about or be missing?! So, I've felt guilty as I've been dealing with my grief, totally surprised by the magnitude of it and confused at the struggle. I knew I would be sad about leaving and have to give it some time, but never did I think I would literally go through the grieving process. FINALLY, Beth affirmed me. She goes on, right after the question above to say, "God finally opened my eyes to see that grief was not inappropriate. Each of my experiences represented a kind of death." Yup.

And then I could totally relate to her when she's talking about her two friends leaving. She says "With the departure of my two best friends I experienced the death of instant camaraderie, of expected company at many events, of relationships I had known for many years and of pure togetherness. Best friendships with long histories are not easy to replace."
I would add to this... the departure of small "seemingly" insignificant things like quick phone calls for clarification on something said earlier or to ask for a recipe or to confirm a time or date; of spontaneous get-togethers; of sharing small details of our lives and partaking in the daily grind together. The departure of feeling needed and like I was contributing to a relationship whether it was watching kids, being a listening ear, or making a meal. The departure of all the little things that make close friendships; real-life friendships what they are.

So many things that are a loss that merit grieving! And, it's OK! Yes, my getting over leaving has been a bigger deal than I ever thought it would be but I have found this to be true. As Beth writes "Anything that breaks the heart is a legitimate reason for seeking the healing only Christ can bring." And, He is bringing healing. I feel it. I know it. I've leaned on him for fellowship, camaraderie and emotional support in the last few months like I haven't done in years. He's been my Only friend and sound-board more times than I can count recently. And, He's healing my heart and I'm learning that there is life after the loss. Just as Mary and Martha went through two days of the intense grief of losing their brother before Jesus came and brought new life, so right now, I am going through some grief. But Jesus is meeting me where I am and HE is bringing new life. It doesn't look the same as it did in Salem. My life has changed. Things are different; they never will be the same. But "I have the invitation from Christ to rise to a new life - a more compassionate life, a wiser life, a more productive life. And yes, even a better life." (Beth Moore, again!). I still don't have "friends" here per se, but I am experiencing joys. There is life, because He is the Resurrection and the Life! What hope He brings!

Next, Ten on Tuesdays (I need a break from heavy thinking and writing).

1.- Layth had an interview today that went well. They said they would contact him about an on-site interview. It's in Seattle. Good pay and from what he has researched a good place to work. The job is a good fit for him as well.

2. -Layth has another phone-interview tomorrow morning. This time with a place in Portland. He's really excited about this possibility because the company is rated as one of the top 10 companies to work for in the country.

3. -Soren is reading like crazy now. I started him on more complex books today at quiet time and tonight he read one of the chapters to Keiton.

4. -I am going on a play-date with some ladies from MoPS on Thursday morning. Yaa!

5. -The burner on my stove has finally been replaced. I now have TWO burners that work. Very good news around here.

6. -We had a great weekend in Ellensburg this past weekend. Lots of rest and good food.

7. -I made blueberry boy-bait. OH MY GOODNESS, is it good! A DEFINITE recipe keeper. Wow, that was good stuff. (notice I said "was").

8. -I am feeling inspired to start scrapbooking again. I'm thinking online scrapbooking. We'll see if it goes anywhere.

9. -My life. It's not very exciting. I cannot even think of 10 things to say!

10. -I've decided that blogging is good therapy for me. Thoughts that I have in my head are written down as I work through them resulting in concrete ideas. That's good.

And now, onto #1 on my list up top. I've got scattered thoughts about this one, so I hope I can pull my thoughts into a coherent stream of words.

Blogs. I'm writing one so obviously I am not totally anti-blog, BUT... I have found that for myself many of them do more harm than good. In fact, I read VERY few blogs anymore. Only the closest of friends.

I've been thinking now for weeks about this. Blogs can portray anything the author wants the blog to portray. A perfect home. Perfect kids. Perfect spirituality. Perfect wife or perfect husband... And, even though some may post about the "imperfections" they still manage an aura of perfection when all is said and done. How? They blog only about stories that are complete with a happy ending. They blog after the fact about whatever WAS/USED TO BE imperfect. They begin with "this morning I got up and it started as a terrible day," or "my house was so messy I could barely function," or "my kids did it again" but then they go on to relate the rest of the story that ends with their attitude totally turning around and them having the best day ever because they had some epiphany, or they learned some great spiritual analogy through their messy house as they cleaned, or their kids, even though they started out disobeying or whatever finally realized what they were doing and apologized to mommy and to God. The stories are all wrapped up with a nice, red, shiny bow leaving the reader with a good feeling because whatever mess the author started out in turned out OK after all. In fact, the author learned and grew from it, even. And usually as the reader we are at the same time left feeling inadequate because of the messes we are in that are not turning out so well; our life continues to be about imperfections and there are no shiny red bows.

We never step into the MIDDLE of one of these struggles. And the struggles that are portrayed more times than not, are finally admitted too or written about AFTER the struggle has been conquered. And so what do I do as a reader of these blogs? Compare. And, maybe that's my own issue. But, I get tired of the deception that can come through blogs. Not that the authors are meaning to deceive and yes, I have definitely been inspired through some that I've read, but every-day REAL LIFE is generally not wrapped up in a bow with a happy ending. Some stories are, but those are only the ones we ever hear about.

Which is kind of why I blog like I do. No happy ending. My story is a journey. My struggles are real and I face them every day; day in and day out, day in and day out. I am not victorious over nearly as many issues as the ones I continue to struggle with.

Pastor Mike, in his sermon a couple of weeks ago said something to the effect of, "even though we are more connected than EVER before in history through media outlets such as facebook, twitter, text-messaging, etc we do not feel more significant because we can share with everyone what is going in our lives; we feel more insignificant than ever." Well, sure! Because daily I see on facebook the perfect mom, the perfect wife, the perfect cook, the perfect friend, the perfect kids, the perfect... EVERYTHING. that I am not!

See, no red bow on this one, either. Although after writing now I've got more thoughts that have popped up, but they are not developed at all so I'll have to think of them and maybe write about this subject again later.

One disclaimer: Blogs with a purpose are great. Drops for example; wonderful! Recipe blogs that post recipes; great stuff. I like those.

It's just the "everyday people" ones that only have happy endings no matter the beginning struggle that I have a hard time with. Right now... I'm not going to say that my perspective won't and can't change on this matter.

OK. I think that's enough for tonight. I'm exhausted. And, this has been the longest blog post ever I think.

Goodnight to you all.

Traveling life's journey in the grip of His grace,
--Betsy

Fighting Blues with productivity

2011-01-09T21:47:00.000-08:00

Once again, I had the blues and had a choice to make: throw a pity-party or do something productive. I chose pity-party for about a 1/2 hour after I woke up from my nap. A 1/2 hour of misery was enough for me; so I chose productive. THAT was the right choice!

Went to church and took Tim and Lilly with us. Sure do love having them join us when they can.

I found our camera. It's been missing for months. So long in fact, that we bought a new one!

I totally cleaned out the hall closet. I wish I'd taken before and after pictures! It started out when we moved in as a some-storage-but-mostly-game closet and had become the "dumping" place for anything and everything that didn't have a place yet. It still acts as some storage, but it it clean, organized, and I now know what is in there. Plus, I found the camera! Waaaaay back in the corner. The boys must have had it in there b/c I've not been that far back into the corner of the closet since we moved in.

Am working on organizing and reformatting all my recipes. A project I've wanted to do now for 5-7 years, but haven't. Currently, my recipes are on scraps of paper, index cards, full sheets of paper and more! Now, they are slowly being entered one by one into a 1/2 sheet format that will be printed on card-stock, 3-hole punched and placed in a small binder that is categorized custom by me; the way I think. BEAUTIFUL!

Took an hour nap today. That was nice.

Read to the boys for 45 minutes. We've started the Narnia Chronicles and are about halfway through the first one - The Magician's Nephew. Soren is understanding it all. I'll stop and ask him questions occasionally about what has already taken place and he gets them right every time. I'll also ask him questions like "what do you think might happen if Digory rings the bell?" He anticipates well. His answer for this question: "I think maybe all those people sitting in the chairs are going to come alive." He is totally into the story.

Watched the "Never Ending Story" with the boys tonight. Haven't seen it since I was a kid. Has a whole lot more meaning now as an adult. Great stuff. I think I'll suggest it for our next "family movie night."

And, tried not to think of Salem today. It's been a hard weekend in regards to missing "home" and I'm not sure why. I shouldn't complain too much though. When I make the choice to not have a pity-party but do something productive a whole lot of great things happen! I find cameras, I get game closets organized, I do projects that I've wanted to do since before kids were born...

OK, I'll be honest. This weekend, I'd trade it all to be back in Salem!

Back to recipes. Gotta long ways to go. And, I'm not in Salem anymore.

--Betsy

A productive day

2011-01-08T23:30:00.000-08:00

Quite the productive day today. I honestly think it was my way of trying to forget the fact that for some reason the SNG Group were all getting together. (perhaps Madelyn's birthday? I'm not included in the group emails for events - I don't live there - so don't know for sure, but I do know her b-day is tomorrow, so the party likely was today. Sad, since we've been at every single one of her b-day parties since they moved to Salem).

But, regardless, I had quite the day.
Slept in, cleaned house like mad for over two hours, made homemade chicken noodle soup, chocolate chip cookies, a key-lime pie, cleaned up after Layth's homemade granola mess, did two loads of laundry, watched the Seahawks play their way into NFL history, tended to the boys with meals, squabbles, cleaning up their stuff and more, and got the house ready for family to come over tonight to watch Fox's Family Movie Night at 8. Mom and Scott have now left. Tim and Lilly are staying the night and going to church with us in the morning. Love having family around.

The football game today was 4 hours of pure adrenaline rush. I did not realize what I have been missing this whole time living in Oregon with no pro football team. It was a ton of fun and I can't wait until next week's game. Layth says I've corrupted the kids. They ran around yelling "Go Seahawks, Go Seahawks." Beautiful. At one point he also said that perhaps I should not watch any more football. I guess I was pretty into it. Good stuff.

Supposed to snow tomorrow. We'll see. We've had so much snow so far this winter, that it's hardly a "big topic" around here anymore. I think we've had snow on the ground as much as we've not this winter so far. This whole week is "supposed" to be one storm after another. I hope so!

The weeks stretch out before me and I really don't have anything planned. So weird. What a different life I now lead. I know I've said it before, but it is just SO DIFFERENT! In some ways, this is a good thing. One thing I am loving more and more are our own family outings. I think in Salem I had this view that if someone else wasn't going us, it really couldn't be much fun. I was always into "let's invite someone, I don't want just us to go, it's more fun with other people." Now, I get soooo excited to go out - just the 4 of us. I love my little family. I love that we enjoy being together, just us. I get excited thinking about spending family night together, or going into downtown with Layth and stopping at the Children's Museum for a couple of hours, just the four of us. We love being together.

Another positive that has come out of this move has been the way the boys interact with each other. Seriously, it is always just the two of them, day in and day out and they have learned to lean on each other, play for hours with each other, love on each other and enjoy just being together. They stick together and I love to see that. I'm glad they have bonded in such a special way. Really, we only have each other; besides family around here, we've not made any other connections. Therefore, we have bonded together as a unit, happy to be together, and appreciating what God has given to us in each other.

Time for bed now. Gotta get up and get everyone ready for church in the morning.

--Betsy

A journey through 2010 in photos

2011-01-06T22:01:00.001-08:00

2010 – the year that kind of “never was” and yet resulted in the biggest changes in our life as a family, to date!

January

Our year started out with a wonderful 3-day get away at the Lakehouse at Black Lake with the SNG Group. What great and fantastic memories of that weekend spent together.

One day while at the Lakehouse the whole group came up to Seattle. Here is a picture of our family. Little did we know at that point that soon we would call this area "home" and Layth would work blocks from the location where this photo was taken.

Great memories at Black Lake. This one, just before a windstorm came up that took the power out. From the left: Stephanie, Alicia, Andrea, Paul, Matt, Meghan, Vance, Layth, Justin... and then me, behind the camera.

February

Then in February after a long series of interviews Layth was hired for a job in downtown Seattle. We had a mad 10-day mad-dash to get everything in place and then the day came when Layth moved north. He lived with friends and family in the Seattle area while the boys and I stayed in Salem with the house to finish out Soren’s preschool year and try to sell the house.

The day after Layth moved out, the boys and I left on a two week San Diego/Arizona road trip. What fun we had! The boys were amazing travelers and we had a great time with grandpa and grandma Rowles hanging out in their RV first on the beach of San Diego and then in the desert of Arizona. It was a nice way to get some sun during the dark days of Oregon winter and take our minds off the change of not having Layth live with us for a time.

Me with the boys in San Diego at the park

In San Diego on the beach playing with grandpa and grandma Rowles

March

A photo of the boys. One of my favorite shots.

Soren and Keiton - Spring 2010

April

Keiton turned 3 in 2010! I made him a baseball cake and we celebrated quietly at home.

Keiton with his baseball cake on his 3rd birthday

Keiton asleep on the night of his 3rd birthday

June

Finally, June rolled around and it was time for us to leave Salem, the area we’d grown to love in the 18 years we’d lived there and move to Kent, WA. We found a sufficient place to rent in Kent, and made the move thanks to the help of dozens of family and friends on both ends. We felt very loved throughout the move. Leaving Salem was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.

Our Kent, Wa dwelling.

Three weeks later, we spent a weekend at our Island Vacation House with our good friends, the Hammonds. It was a weekend none of us will ever forget as I had “the last swing”… and my first helicopter ride!

A photo of the last swing. Just after this was taken my hand let go of the rope swing and I plunged to the ground below landing on my head and neck resulting in loss of memory and the inability to move my head and neck. The island firefighters were called and then Life-Flight was called.

Being wheeled to the helicopter for Life Flight to Harborview. Loss of memory and no movement in neck at this point.

July

My brother and his family (the KAL pals) came out for two weeks this summer and my dad visited the same time. What a blast all of us had together for two weeks. Hikes at Mt Ranier, visits to downtown Seattle, walks around the old neighborhood, afternoons at parks where we spent time as we grew up, a 40^th birthday party for Scott, a completed half marathon for several, and a full weekend away at the Island Vacation House. Wonderful, priceless memories.

Scott's 40th with all of us there!

At the Island House


Lori, Ken, Kristen and Lilly: The 1/2 marathon runners!

Loescher Family pictures

August

Our annual SNG Camping Trip. This time at Black Lake and as usual a WHOLE lot of fun and good eating!

The Annual Camping Trip: The West Family (Matt, Meghan, Christian, Nika); the Rowles Family (Layth, Betsy, Keiton, Soren); The Zuniga Family (Katie, Josh, Alex) and the Lunde Family (Andrea, Paul, Nathaniel, Benton)

At Black Lake while camping

Soren turned 6 years old. He loves seafood so I made him a crab cake for his birthday. A week later the Salem group threw he and Megan a joint birthday part while we were in Salem and Katie made him a cake as well. The goose was presented to him as a birthday gift, but we didn’t feel we could keep in from others so we left it as a thank you to the Bowmans for letting us stay at their place!

Our family in front of the crab cake I made for Soren's 6th birthday

Soren loves his crab cake for his 6th birthday

Katie Zuniga made him a cake for his birthday party in Salem! What a great party that was.

September

Soren started Kindergarten.

Soren on his first day of kindergarten in front of his locker

October
Layth and I had a formal night out which resulted in Pizza for a year and 8 Sounders Tickets. What fun!

November

Layth and I took a MUCH NEEDED 5-day get away to San Jose Del Cabo and relaxed for the first time in a year. We are so thankful for the frequent flyer miles that bought us such a luxurious time away!

Layth and I on the beach in front of our resort. The temperature was between 82-87 the entire time were there. Perfect!

Barcelo Los Cabos Palace Deluxe. Our resort.

One day we went snorkeling and sailing on the sea of Cortez. What great memories.

Olivia Louise – the little girl I dreamed of by name before I even knew she was to be – was born on Thanksgiving Day.

Olivia Louise - born on Thanksgiving day

December

My birthday. Complete with a Red Robin birthday dinner and then a fun evening with family at Bellevue Square and Snowflake Lane. A week later, the Salem-area group threw me a surprise birthday party as well.

All of us, at Bellevue Square on my birthday.

Christmas family photos.

"Formal" Family Christmas Picture

The Loescher cousins minus the KAL Pal girls in Virginia. Tim, Lilly, Soren, Keiton, James, Moriah, Olivia, Launa

Informal picture of us on Christmas morning just before we opened gifts.

And finally, between Christmas and New Years: The family enjoying a rather spontaneous 3-day get away to our Island Vacation House just after the loss of Layth’s job.

On Hat Island. It was cold and clear and beautiful the entire time we were there.

We finished out the year back at the Lakehouse at Black Lake with our SNG Group of friends. A perfect way to start and end a year!

What a crazy and "different" year 2010 turned out to be for us. We had so many changes in our lives and challenges to face and overcome. With God as our source of peace and joy, and through the perseverance only He can provide we muddled through and grew as individuals and as a family as a result.

Here's to 2011 and a God who is in control not only of the world at large around us, but also of OUR small world as a family and individuals.

I can't help but wonder since we are at the same place we were last year (just living in a different location): What will this next year bring?!

New Year's Celebration at the Lakehouse

2011-01-02T22:03:00.000-08:00

A great weekend with great friends, once again! The Salem-area group met at the Lakehouse at Black Lake for New Year's weekend and we had a wonderful time.

We got there last - about 10:30 because of our Hat Island Trip and the timing of the ferry and all that. But, the first night we stayed up until 2:00 talking with everyone and just enjoying the down-time while all the kids were sleeping. It was really, really nice.

Saturday everyone was up by 8-8:30 for breakfast and then a full, but slow-paced day. The guys played disc golf, the girls took the kids to the play area and sat around and talked. After lunch at naptime the girls headed to the mall for some shopping. We ended up being gone longer than anticipated I think, but we we did have a nice time being together. For me, it would have been nice if our situation were different and I could have enjoyed being able to buy a thing or two for myself. But, that's OK. Self-control, discipline and patience are all good traits for me to mature.

Dinner followed by fireworks and then kids to bed and games for the adults until somewhere between 11-11:30.

This morning was more of the same. Beautiful (but cold) sunny weather, a big breakfast, more disc golf for the guys, sharing around the table and then clean and head home.

Love that group of friends. I fear I am falling behind in my social skills however. Really, I don't have any social interaction except what I get in Bible study (and we're watching a video half the time), or MoPS (and we have speakers that we listen to most of the two hours), or... when I'm with the Salem-area group every few weeks. I noticed some things about my interactions that really bothered me (and them too, I'm sure). It mostly had to do with me interrupting others with my own thoughts or stories. Sad. I think it all builds up inside... and then when I have a chance to actually have interaction with others (oh so rare, especially with good friends) I just let-loose. The dam is broken and I just "have" to get all my thoughts and stories and words from the last however-many-weeks, out. Anyways, it wasn't nice for them and after I realized what I was doing I'd try to catch myself and stop. I guess recognizing the issue is the first step, right? I certainly don't want them to "dread" me coming or not enjoy my company because I monopolize the conversation. So many shortcomings I have! So much to work on.

Lord, provide some good, strong friendships up here, please! I'm open. I'm ready!

Of course, who knows where we'll end up now that Layth is looking for work again. So many unknowns in 2011. I know I've said it a thousand times, but I am so glad that God is in control. I am so glad that in this world that is ever-changing; in MY world that is ever-changing, God does NOT CHANGE! He is the same yesterday, today and forever. His character remains the same and therefore, I can be confident that He is in control of My world, He can and will provide peace that passes understanding, joy that is undefined and perseverance to make it through until things settle down again. He is the Rock that I cling too, that is for sure!

And on that note and three blog posts later, I am heading to bed.

--Betsy

Hat Island Stay

2011-01-02T21:45:00.000-08:00

Layth's first request after losing his job was to go to Hat Island. Somehow, we managed to squeeze it in. I'm still not quite sure how we managed it, but we did. We went out on the Wednesday afternoon ferry and came back on Friday night.

It was, in one word: Relaxing. I took left-overs and so we just kind of helped ourselves when we were hungry, the boys had their new Leapster Explorer Game-machines which they loved, I had a nice thick book to read and there was no internet. I slept a lot, ate a little, played a lot of games and watched a couple of movies. I came home well-rested for sure.

Here are some snapshots from our few days there.

Keiton loves throwing rocks into the duck-pond at the TOP of the hill and found the "perfect rock" at the bottom of the hill. Here he is lugging it up to the top. It was hard work for him, but worth it when it broke through the ice of the frozen pond with a loud sound!

It was absolutely BEAUTIFUL the three days we were there. More clear than any other time I've ever been there. Very cold, albeit, but that didn't stop us from enjoying the outdoors. Here are some pictures of the view on our way down to the beach.

The view from the Harbor.

And, a picture of our family down at the harbor. I was trying to balance the camera on a piece of driftwood for a timed photo when a lady who was loading her boat near the dock offered to take a picture of us. It was very nice of her.

It was a squeezed in trip that was stressful to get too, but once we were there I did more relaxing than I do in a month's time at home! I am so thankful for our Island House Get-away.

Christmas 2010

2011-01-02T20:41:00.000-08:00

Some Pictures from Christmas this year.

All of us dressed in our Christmas garb for Church the week of Christmas. Thank-you to Lilly, my niece for taking dozens of photos of us to finally get a decent one!

Christmas Eve we went to the Christmas Eve Service at Grace and then onto my sisters house for the Loescher Family Christmas where we had a full Christmas meal, cousin and family gift exchange and great time.

Here are the cousins: (minus the KAL Pals in Virginia)

Tim, Lilly, Soren, Keiton, James, Moriah holding Olivia and Launa. They grow up so fast!

We spent Christmas morning and day at our house. Jim and JoAnn came and stayed with us for a few days which is always great (and JoAnn endured my melt-down late Christmas Eve by helping in so many ways!). We slept in, opened stockings, had a nice big breakfast, got dinner in the oven and then my mom and brother came over for gift opening. After that Scott's kids came to spend the remainder of the day and have Christmas dinner with us. It was a very enjoyable Christmas.

Keiton holding his stocking

Soren holding his stocking

Rowles Family on Christmas Morning just before opening gifts:

Where's the "ME" in Mommy? Is there "ME" in Mommy?

2010-12-02T13:40:00.000-08:00

Yesterday at MoPS we had a speaker who talked about "Finding me in mommy". Basically, not losing our identity in the midst of this mom phase of life. Her premise is that we are more than just a mom.

It was interesting because as she began to speak about the fact that our purpose in life is to be more than a mom, I watched one lady - who I know loves being a mom - furrow her brow, purse her lips and turn her head. I could see it in her eyes and read her thoughts loud and clear "being a mom IS who I am and I don't think it's OK to be anything else but a mom. You are telling me I should be more, and that's not OK."

I totally understand her sentiment... I don't relate well to it, but I can see where she is coming from.

I've been mulling this over - is it OK to want to be more than just a mom? Is it OK to pursue other interests that have to do with "just me" and press towards some of my passions while raising young kids? Is it OK that my passion in life is not necessarily the mom thing? Oh, the guilt that I can get to quickly from that question! (by the way - this is not about my kids or how much I love them or don't love them. Don't read into it like that. I LOVE MY KIDS more than anything on the face of this earth. It is instead about what drives me, my identity and what I am passionate about).

I've got some thoughts - random and jumbled at best. At some point my kids will move on. Not all at once, but it will happen more quickly than I figure. First, they will go to school for several hours a day, then they will become teens with lives that are more and more independent of mine as they begin to drive, make their own decisions, choose girlfriends... and then finally, they leave for college and into their adult life. What about being a mom then? What about the time that will come someday when "mom" is not a full-time job? What will I be left with? Who am I? Right now life is so totally consumed with children as I meet their every need from sun up to sun down (and even during sun down too) that I cannot imagine a life of my own again. A life that will happen in time - first for 6 hours a day and eventually to 24 hours a day.

What do I do with this phase of life? Do I go at is as a phase of life and put everything else on hold while I be a 24/7 mom? Is it OK to pursue other interests or passions or do I lay them aside for later while motherhood completely takes over? If I do, will I forget what my passions are? Once my motherhood days are over will I have to start all over again, like a baby and grow into maturity in my personal interests and passions?

All valid questions. And ones that I want to answer with "do your own thing... it's OK" but then I think that perhaps I'm trying to justify being selfish... and here comes the guilt! Guilt that I am not completely satisfied in life with being "just a mom" but have a drive to do ministry, to organize people and things beyond my boys, to be busy with a career even. I stuff it down. I don't have time for any of that. I'm supposed to be content with my role right now. To be honest though; this has been the hardest phase of life for me to be content. Even being single in my mid-to-late-20's I was more content that I find myself these days. I wonder why and I struggle with it and then feel guilty that I am not content raising my boys and doing just that. It is a daily struggle for me and I wish I had an answer and could wrap up this post nicely. In fact, I wish I could be like that lady who pursed her lips and shook her head -I wish that I felt to the core of my being that "mom" was IT; that this was the end all and that my passions were being fulfilled. Oh, that would be glorious. But, I am not wired that way. In my journey I have found one other person like me; one other who I think to myself "she gets me." Her kids are now grown and she can offer perspective, but of course she lives where I no longer live! I guess it's nice to know there are others out there. Perhaps there are more moms just like me but really it is so taboo to say that being a mom is not totally fulfilling (what if my kids read this post someday?! Think of the psychological damage for them to find out that my world consisted of more than just them!) that no one will talk about it and confess it.

See, no nice wrap-up or anything like that. Just thoughts coming straight from my head and heart and probably magnified at this time of my life because I am home so much. Perhaps I am rediscovering who I am without my friends, ministry and life I had in Salem. And, I'm not sure yet who that is. Although, I had the drive for things beyond mommyhood in Salem too. I FEEL like it's supposed to be "super-mom" but yet that just doesn't fit my bill.

Here's to muddling through each day. Looking to God for strength to make it through and reveal to me in His time not only what my passions are but when to pursue them as well. And, here's to giving my guilt daily to Him and doing the best job I can with raising my boys. My prayer EVERY SINGLE NIGHT for them is this: "Lord, help Soren and Keiton to grow up to be men who desire to do Your will all the days of their life." My role in their life is a major contributor to how they will turn out. I guess having that vision for them long-term can and should determine many of my actions now.

Retreat talks, grieving process and more

2010-11-02T21:32:00.000-07:00

Besides going to Bible Study this morning (Beth Moore's Breaking Free) I have pretty much sat in the pink room working on retreat talks. I've gotten somewhere definetely, but I still have a ways to go. I've got talk #2 about 2/3 done I would say and the outline is there, I just need to fill in some more content. Talk #3 is still a struggle somewhat. I want it to be exhortative and challenging and hopeful. I found a devotional online actually and I may read that and then springboard from there. These retreat talks have taken me longer than ever this year. Just with my situation, the topic I was given and then being sick - now for two weeks - it's just seems like it's been very laborious to pull them together! They are coming though although when I think that in 48 hours they need to be done I get a little freaked out! I hope my concentration tomorrow lasts for 8 hours like it did today. It needs too!

The meds for my sinus infection do not seem to be working. I can't say that I'm surprised, actually. I knew going in that it was a very bad infection. I'm hoping that tonight I'll turn the corner, especially when the doc told me not to come back until next week if I wasn't feeling improvement. That is TOO LONG in my book to wait for medicine that will work. The pain is almost intolerable at times.

Layth worked late tonight again. He missed all the trains like he did last night. In fact, I was getting worried about him. I usually talk to him sometime around 5pm; I'll call or he does. I didn't hear from him and so started calling about 5:30 or so and no answer. Called at 6:00 and no answer. Called at 6:20 and no answer. Texted at 6:45 and no reply. Finally, just before 7:00 he called! He'd been in a meeting since 4:30. So, he got on the first bus he could and got home at 8:30 tonight. I appears it will be that way for the next week and a half. Boy will i be ready for Cabo when it comes! I can hardly wait to spend some time with my man... it has been waaaaay too long!

Had a great talk with my mom this evening. Told her about all my thoughts regarding our friends in Salem and all that and she did a great job of listening. It was nice to verbalize it. She suggested that I look at Salem as a long season of life (a good one!), realize that season is over, and then set myself forward for whatever the next season will bring. She's probably right, but it's easier said than done. She said that too in fact!

I think I'm going through the grieving process though with this move. I realized it last night very late (no, I didn't go to bed right after I blogged, I was up for another hour or more!) when I got really angry at the whole idea of the SNG group. I was angry with the group because it was making the move so hard and it was their fault... and then I realized that anger is part of the grieving process when losing something or letting go... a loss. It makes sense. I've gone through the mourning, I had the anger... I can't remember what else there is. I should, I used to have it memorized in college. Anyways, it totally took me by surprise, but I am letting go of it and it is a huge loss in my life. It makes sense that I would run the full gamet of emotions.

Keiton is into telling jokes... well, kind-of jokes. They are made up ones, by a three year old if that gives you some idea and they can run on and on and on! But, they are cute and I love to see him smile and laugh at himself.

Soren is reading better and better and that is something else I love to listen to. I love to sit down with him and his books he brings home from school and listen to him read them as well as "get them". I love to hear him laugh at the stories and ask questions about what's going on. He is a joy!

I'm going to go print out my talks now and look over them and make notes so until next time...

--Betsy

A conflict of the heart

2010-11-01T22:34:00.000-07:00

I read my post from yesterday and it is all over the place! Very indicative of my life right now, actually. I just have so many thoughts going through my head and some of them are in direct opposition to each other and I'm not sure where I should land. Like today I've been thinking this: I love Salem and the real community we have there. I don't know of any other group that has something like we have, but... I live here now. So, my question to myself is this: do I "hang on" to that group as in, try to be part of the community there in how much I share my heart or how much I am involved in conversation and little stories and tid-bits here and there that make up a special community like that, or do I stop doing that because I live here? Does that make sense? I'm not sure which way to land. Part of me says "hang on... what you have there is rare and you can make it work long-term". And, another part of me says "let go Betsy. Just let go. You can't keep it up long term and yes, you've managed somewhat to keep it up so far and when you are there with them you make a choice to be open, honest and vulnerable, but you need to stop because perhaps, while you are focusing on that group you will not be emotionally or mentally available for a group here where you live." (nice run-on, I know. This is a free-write though!). So, I go back and forth and can justify either way and I don't know what to do and it's very frustrating for me. How do they feel about me still being part of things? I have no idea, really. I wonder if they think "oh, Betsy hanging on way too much and she needs to let go." And then I think that if they are thinking that, that they've never had to move from a group like the SNG Group so they CANNOT POSSIBLY know what it is like. Not many people can, because I really don't think many people have what we had. 11 years of meeting practically on a weekly basis, all in each other's weddings, and at each birth of our kids, at every birthday party for adults or children, spending some holidays together, praying together, laughing together, regular meals together... AND, all the guys get along great and would do their own thing and all the girls got along great and would do their own thing together. When asking Soren who his friends are, he still names the SNG kids as his friends. They are like brothers and sisters to him! That sort of thing is hard to give up! No one else from the group has moved away and so no one really knows how much HARDER a move is as a result of the group. I am convinced that if I did not have the SNG group in my life this move would be easier in a whole lot of ways!

Anyways, if you have an answer to my dilemma, let me know. Not that anyone reads this anymore. Everyone gave up on my blog a long t ime ago!

I've got to get to bed. Went to the doc today for my sinus infection and got meds and he prescribed lots and lots of rest. (yeah right... not this week!). I cannot wait until tomorrow at this time when I begin to feel better and can be pain-free again! It's been way too long!

Thankful tonight that God is faithful and in control and I can trust Him and in His time He will reveal to me the right way. And, wishing I had friends here to talk this over with! Should I bring it up with the SNG group at some point and get their opinion on it? But that's hanging on, isn't it? Probably shouldn't then?

--Betsy

A Salem Weekend

2010-10-31T22:06:00.000-07:00

Got home a little while ago from an amazing weekend in Salem. Now I have to get over the "post-Salemvisit-blues". I hate this part of visiting Salem. Obviously it's worth it because I go back every chance I get, but honestly, for 24 hours or so after I return I always think to myself "it's just easier not to go down there at all. Perhaps I shouldn't go any more." It's just a taste of what I'm missing.

We got in late Friday night and stayed with the Wests which really is a great set-up for us. Saturday morning was leisurely and then we met up with the others at W.U. for Kid's Pix at 11. Kids Pix were totally chaotic, but oh so much fun and I cannot wait to see the final result. It was SO GOOD to see Lauren! One of the highlights of the day for me.

Following Kids Pix we went to McD's for lunch. The one was too crowded so we ended up at another. The kids loved it and even though it was loud, we got some adult conversation in.

Nap times following and then to Bowman's for potluck dinner and hang out for the evening. The first time in over 6 months that we were ALL together. It was crazy, fun, wonderful, chaotic... everything "real community" with 24 of us in one house on a rainy night that includes 12 kids ages 1-6, should be. LOVE IT!

At 10pm the girls decided to go to coffee. We closed down one place... had wonderful "real" conversation which is what I like. It was good to share from my heart where I am right now and to have my best friends hear me. Really, I'm OK with the move here, but I don't have any friends here and so the only time I talk like I did with the girls on Saturday is with Layth, and my mom or sis occasionally when I see them. Not much these days since Layth is gone 14 hours a day and I don't see mom or Lori a whole lot. SO MANY things go unsaid now in my world. I hate that part of living here! Anyways, After we closed the one place down, we ended up going downtown to one of the main hotels and sitting in their lobby until 1:30am! What a fantastic group of ladies - the caliber of which I've not found yet here!

Sunday morning was coffee with a friend - another heart to heart. WONDERFUL! Except that I was very, very tired!

Church was great, too. Good conversations, lots of hugs and then all-church meal following for more fellowship.

Back to the Wests to gather our stuff and for me to take a short nap before we left for home (I had to drive while Layth worked).

The boys loved the weekend and were totally worn out! They slept the first two hours home tonight.

I love the community of friends we have/had in Salem. They are moving on which is very hard to see, but I recognize as I deal with it that it is part of my maturing and growing process and so I have decided I will let it strengthen me.

I could go on, but really I need to get to bed because it is late and I'm quite sick with a bad cold and sinus infection (well, I plan to go to the doctor tomorrow). Plus, this is long enough.

Soooo thankful tonight for the years we had in Salem and the friendships we forged there. I have to continue to let go of them though. My life is not there and although they will be dear friends forever and I hope we continue to see a few times a year for the rest of our lives, as I said before, my life is not there anymore. I need to live here. Can you tell I'm trying to convince myself?

So, those are my thoughts for tonight. Feeling totally full and blessed after our weekend... but at the same time tonight, feeling lonely because I am here and not there!

--Betsy

Love. my. boys.

2010-10-28T22:10:00.001-07:00

I love my boys. They are so free with their love. I came into the master bathroom the other day and found a note taped to the mirror above my sink that said, in kindergarten script "I love you. Love Soren". It's still there and it's been a week now. I don't know that I'll ever take it down.

Tonight on the way home from small group about 9:15pm it was just Keiton and I in the car and all of the sudden from the backseat
"Mommy?"
"Yes, sweetheart?" I replied, turning off the radio.
"I love you," he said.
That's all he said. He wasn't trying to get something out of me or butter me up, but he wanted to tell me he loves me. Melt my heart? YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!

I get hugs and kisses and notes from both boys constantly. They love to sit with me and yes, even cuddle. And I eat. it. up. I know that one day it will not be this way. Someday it will be the last cuddle or public display of affection and so each time an overt sign of their love is given I cherish it and treasure it in my heart and in my mind. A mommy snapshot to keep with me forever.

It was the middle of the night last night when I heard Keiton climbing down from the bunkbed. I heard him whispering to himself as he walked the hallway and then the bathroom light went on and I heard him busy doing something. Curious, I got out of bed and found him standing on the toilet seat leaning over the sink with the water on, getting himself a drink of water. "I need a drink of water" he whispered in his sleepy 3-year old voice. I watched him gulp the water down. An orange cup. He wasn't wearing a shirt, just a long pair of pj bottoms with dinosaurs on them, and socks. One leg was pulled up to his shin, the other leg was down. It was so cute. He finished his drink, got down and then said (still whispering) "can I sleep in your bed?" as he walked towards our room. "No," I whispered back, "see, daddy is sleeping there and there's no more room."
"Well," he whispered back, "I could sleep there on the floor" and he pointed to the floor. "No," I said again, "how about I walk you back to your own bed and help you up?" We walked back to his room and he turned to me for a big hug before settling into his covers. A small story... but a sweet one and the kind that I want to remember forever. So, I blog about it, even though it is totally insignificant to anyone else. It will bring the memory back though of seeing him standing there and hearing his voice and a sleepy-time middle of the night hug from his warm body.

I cannot get enough of them. I am blessed beyond...

I think I'll go kiss on their sleeping faces now and whisper that I love them.

--Betsy

Retreat talks, "occults" and substitute teachers

2010-10-27T23:56:00.000-07:00

Sleep is eluding me... too much soda too late in the evening. So, I finally got up out of bed to email and blog. Hopefully, I'll get some things off my mind and then I can sleep!

I finished one of my talks for Women's Retreat. It is so different than any other talk I've given. This one is born out of a journal-write basically and is more or less the story of where I am right now spiritually speaking. It is candid, honest, open and leaves me pretty vulnerable. But, it is definetely what I've been led to say and so I will say it. I read it to Layth tonight finally. He said it was "perfect, right on" and that it was probably the best talk he's heard me give yet. I have one more talk to prepare. I've got about 8 pages of notes - talks I've started or ideas. I'm not sure if I'll go with one of those or go with something totally different. The theme for this year's retreat is God Turns our Trash into Treasure. For weeks now I have been consumed with the topic as I struggle to come up with material to teach on!

It's been a normal week around here except that I've been sick with a pretty bad cold. Not fun and I haven't been to the gym in a week and a half now. I'm anxious to get back there, especially since Layth and I have vacation in a little over two weeks. I want to look good. BUT, I want to be healthy for the trip even worse, so I stay home and lay low and take a nap every day.

Soren had his first substitute teacher at school yesterday. He got in the car and said it was "a very, very mixed up day" and that he had to "remind the new teacher of so many things that he almost gave up." He went on to explain that she didn't know about the line-leader and so he had to tell her about that, and she had the library person hold the door (can you believe it?) and so he had to tell her about who was the door holder and how that worked... Layth just shook his head and said "oh my, that was soooo me as a kid! I would totally take control of the class."

And, Soren is afraid that he's getting an "occult". Yes, his throat tickles sometimes and he's tired a lot so he's "probably getting an occult." It was so cute to hear him talk about it tonight (at first I didn't get what he was talking about) that I haven't corrected him yet. Next time it comes up I will. It was just too much fun listening to him talk about it.

Keiton has reverted in his potty-training. I don't think frustrated is a strong enough word for this mother! It is beyond... Ugh. I HATE POTTY TRAINING! Which is why I waited so long to start, thinking that if I started later perhaps he would get it sooner. I guess not! We'll keep plugging away at it. I hate it enough that I want it over and done with!

A Salem weekend is just around the corner, complete with pictures of all the kids! I'm really looking forward to it. I've not been back since everything reconciled in my mind and so I'm looking forward to a healthy, fun weekend with friends!

Well, it's after midnight now and I don't have anything left to say (not that I've said much up to this point!) so I'm going to go try and sleep again.

Later...

Soren's Five Questions

2010-10-18T21:55:00.000-07:00

It was time for the boys to sleep by the time we left Portland for home the other night, but before Soren fell asleep he asked us if we could answer five questions for him. He had been thinking about them and had them stored up in his mind. We'd answer one and he'd say, "OK, number three is..." and then go on to ask his next question like he had them written down in front of him and could read them off. By question three I was so intrigued by his questions that I grabbed a notepad and wrote down the questions as he asked them. Here they are, in order and exactly as he asked them.

Question #1. How do you make light?

Question #2. How does a bridge stay up?

Question #3. How do your lungs get air?

Question #4. Why does gas make your car go?

Question #5. What does it look like in the inside of your ear?

It took a while to answer the questions... but after we were done he was obviously satisfied because within minutes he was sound asleep in his car-seat.

Love that kid. Love that mind. Wonder where it'll take him...

Spontaneity and Clarification

2010-10-17T21:04:00.000-07:00

What a great few days we've had. Totally exhausting as evidenced by my THREE hour nap today, but we're all happy!

Wednesday we ended up in downtown with the Lundes at the Science Center for the afternoon. We had a great time, with great friends. We tried to get a picture of all the boys, but we waited until the end which was was too late for them. So, here is our attempt!

Friday we were spontaneous! A big deal for this family because it does not happen much. Layth had a dentist appointment in Portland, most of our Salem friends were busy for the weekend and so I had decided just to let Layth go down and back for the day. But, after lunch Friday I got a brainstorm and ended up online where I booked a hotel for that night in Portland. Friday when Layth got home we drove down to Portland, stayed up late (way too late!) at the hotel, got up the next morning and had a great breakfast in the restaurant. We dropped Layth off at his appointment and then the boys and I went back to the hotel to swim and hot-tub. Very nice! Checked out, picked Layth up and headed to OMSI for the rest of the day. What a blast! We all had a great time there and closed the place down.

About 4pm the Wests showed up and played at OMSI with us and then we ended up at The Red Fig for dinner. After dinner we headed to Perry's for some AMAZING dessert (I ate way too much) and then finally a little after 8pm we started our journey home.

Needless to say, 7:15am came way too early for me this morning, but I have to get up at that time to get everyone bathed, dressed and fed before we leave for church about 8:30. What a fantastic few days though. After church today we had lunch with mom and Lori at Costco and then home for a relaxing afternoon and evening. Wonderful.

I've come to a lot of conclusions this past weekend about a lot of things. Probably because I'm back into the Word daily and doing Bible study so much. I'm OK with being here! This is a very good thing. In fact, I think I'm GLAD we moved now that I can reflect on the last couple of years in Salem and where I was in my life. I'm not sure I was moving forward at all in Salem. I was stuck in rut and I really think that the only way God could get me out of it and moving again was to force me out of the situation. I'm glad He did. I'm not the same person I was 5 months ago, I realize that now. The culmination of a whole lot of thoughts and tears and prayers came just this evening. My journal reflects it all, I won't go into more detail here. Just that, I think to accomplish the work that needed to be done in me required a drastic change in my life - like moving. I thank God that in spite of it all, He continues to work out His will in my life! What peace, what freedom.

I guess that's all for now. I'm going to head upstairs to my make-shift office (the PINK room!) and work on Bible study and retreat talks some more.

Visiting friends and purpose for a day

2010-10-12T21:38:00.000-07:00

Today was a good day. Started out with Mops where I was in childcare. That part, not so good I guess. Definitely not my favorite thing to do and it seems like my room of kids were all having a hard day. But, worth it to be able to attend Mops.

This afternoon the Lundes showed up and I drove Paul and Andrea to the train station and then brought the van back with Benton and Nathaniel. The four boys did quite well together. They played outside, played with the marble game, pretended to be superheros and ended the evening with popcorn and a movie.

I have to admit that it is nice to feel useful again. For months now it's been just me and the boys hanging out at home everyday. Watching the Lunde boys is a wonderful change of pace for all of us and I feel purposeful giving Paul and Andrea the opportunity to get in some couple time. I miss Salem and the activity of life down there - the sharing of babysitting and helping each other when a need arose. Doing life together, being spontaneous. Here, I do none of that - the sharing or helping or asking or anything. It is nice to feel useful and needed every once in a while! My boys are loving it and truth be told, so am I!

That's it for now.

--Betsy

A normal day in our life

2010-10-11T22:11:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty sure no one follows this anymore since it's been like 9 months since I posted anything, but my "plan" is to update more often with just our normal everyday life and activities. Not because it's anything really exciting, but because I think it would be fun to remember down the road life's daily in and out happenings.

Today was an "off" day as I call it. I was very tired and fought a headache most of the day. Still, I got up and got the boys up and Soren off to school. He had late-start Monday which I love! I dropped him off and even though I really didn't want or feel like it, I headed straight to the gym where I ran for 40 minutes. I'm planning to run a 5k in the middle of November and so decided that I should probably start running to get myself in shape for it! Picked up Soren from school and then had a very normal afternoon here at home. Some cleaning, planned the week's menu, facebooked and emailed some, Meghan called and we talked for a long while, took a nap, a quick trip to the store for cilantro and then home to make dinner. I would say talking to Meghan and dinner were the high-lights. I made steak with home-made pineapple salsa for dinner. A big hit! After dinner we headed to Costco for some shopping and dessert. And, that's about all. Not very exciting... but a normal day in the Rowles' household.

Tomorrow the Lunde boys are coming over for the night. The Lundes are vacationing in Seattle and so I offered to watch the boys for them if they wanted an overnight to themselves. My boys are beside themselves with excitement over having their friends here. I'm kind of looking forward to it too... just the friend experience. Oh, how I miss the fellowship of friends that we had in Salem!! But, it's too late to go there tonight. If I start, I may never end.

That's about it. Off to do Bible Study and then sleep.

--Betsy

Mother's Day

2009-05-13T16:37:00.000-07:00

I have to post about Mother's Day because on this day it is my right to brag about my boys!

I am the luckiest mom alive, of that I am quite convinced. Soren is a bright, math-minded 4 1/2 year old that will strike up a conversation with anyone willing to interact. Most of his conversations these days are about space (he wants to be an astronaut when he grows up, he says), music, math or geography (as in, other countries and places he's been or wants to go). I have never seen a 4 year old so willing to share or one so adept at math (he's doing multiplication). He is affectionate, active, independant.

Keiton is a typical 2 year old in many senses of the word. He loves people and I am so glad to see him comfortable around our friends. He makes himself at home wherever he is. He has an easy-going wide grin that melts my heart everytime I see it and the most expressive eyes I have ever noticed on a child. He loves cars and sports and best of all, his mom's kisses! He loves everything his big brother does and thinks the world of his daddy. He is definetely "all-boy".

They are a handful, but they are a delight.

Here we are... myself with Soren and Keiton.

Up close

a little washed out, but Layth captured us while hanging out on the couch together on Mother's Day

Keiton Turns Two!

2009-05-13T16:21:00.000-07:00

Keiton turned two in the middle of April. His birthday celebration was a fairly quiet one.

Keiton is into all things car or vehicle related and all things that involve a sports ball of any sort. So, for his birthday cake I decided to try my hand at a race-track cake. I think it turned out rather cute. And it was BY FAR easier than the dragon cake or ceiling fan cake I've made for his brother in years past. This cake involved two round cakes, frosting, crushed chocolate cookies, mike-n-ike candies, coconut with green food coloring, and flags made of toothpicks and checkered paper. Oh ya, I added two cars to the top of the cake... part of his birthday gift.

Just a quick note to say that Keiton is such a joy! He has a fantastic, fun personality that is characterized by his "crazy walk", his easy-going wide grin, sound effects and his frequent hugs and kisses.

The Race-track Cake

Keiton was so excited to blow out the candle that we couldn't get through the Happy Birthday song before the candle was extinguished.

Here he is blowing out his candle... again!

Couponing

2009-02-22T19:46:00.000-08:00

I've been seriously "couponing" (for lack of better terms) now for about 7-9 months. Whenever I set foot in a grocery store, if I don't save at least as much as I spend, I consider it a failed shopping trip. Tonight we hit Albertsons and Safeway and I thought I'd share the results of a typical shopping trip since embarking on the couponing adventure.

I got for FREE the following items:
*Tuna fish
*Salad Dressing
*Grands Biscuits
*Chex Mix

At Safeway I spent $4.13 and saved $12.04

At Albertsons I spent $14.59 and saved $35.94

Total Spent: 18.72
Total SAVED: 47.98!

Ohhh, it feels so good. Now, it is true that I don't do all my shopping at Albertsons and Safeway as they are much too expensive for things that are not on sale-combined-with-a-coupon-or-two as well... but, with a little homework and some cutting, filing and sorting I get from those stores what I can that beat the WinCo and Costco prices. And I get some things that I wouldn't ordinarily get because they are FREE. (ie, Chex Mix).

It sure is fun!

OK. I do have a secret... I subscribe to an online coupon aid: www.thegrocerygame.com. It costs $15 every couple of months but as you can see I save a whole lot more than that every week. I LOVE the challenge; of seeing how much I can save and what I can get for free. I pour over my list every Sunday with my notebook of coupons, a pen, a sharpie and scissors.

Well, all the shopping and now this blogging has made me hungry... maybe I'll go have a snack. Something like Chex Mix. Or maybe a Tuna Sandwich?

Now if only those things were "FREE POINTS" too!

SNG "Saturday Night Group" Family Dinner

2009-01-25T21:45:00.000-08:00

The group of friends that has been meeting on a weekly basis for many years now (began as all single adults) now meets on a rotation basis on Saturday nights. Once a month is guys night, once a month is girls night and once a month is "family dinner". This past month for family dinner every family was able to make it. For the first time in a long time. It was fun. It was crazy. It was chaotic. It involved 12 kids age 4 and under! Here are some pictures of the event.

Getting ready to pray before eating. Moms and kids everywhere!

The guys enjoying their meal. They sat at the end table and talked through their whole meal. Somehow, in spite of the chaos ringing around them.

Just after dinner some of the kids adjourned into the family room for a movie. Since so many of them were seated and quiet, we grabbed the little kids and threw them into the mix and started clicking away on the cameras. Here they all are!

Back row: Karis, Rachel, Soren, Kyler, Benton, Kyle, Nika
Front row: madelyn, Christian, Keiton, Joey, Nathaniel

Young Love...

2009-01-25T21:33:00.000-08:00

This is Madelyn - a very cute 2 year old that has taken a fancy to my 21 month old. Can't say I blame her, really. They have a lot of fun playing together and the other day when I mentioned her name in passing Keiton got all excited and running over to me, poked me and said "mamma" and then ran off (that means I'm supposed to follow him) to the front door where he insisted I open it. He was obviously disappointed when Madelyn was not on the other side.

These shots were all taken at Madelyn's 2 year birthday party. An introduction for my kids to Chuck-E-Cheese (life will never be the same now that they know it exists!). Thank you Hammonds!

I'm not sure Keiton is interested in this right now... I think at this age he'd rather just watch the movie!

2008 in Review

2009-01-01T16:05:00.000-08:00

There are so many great memories of 2008 that i decided to do a 2008-in-Review post... some of the highlights. I'll repeat what I said SOME of the high-lights. I had it narrowed down to 37 pictures after the first two rounds, and eventually got it down here. I can only post 4 pictures at a time using Picasa (if anyone out there knows differently, let me know) so I'll have to post several times. I tried to start at the beginning and work through 2008 chronologically.

Thanks for being part of our lives in 2008.

Soon after the year began, we found ourselves in sunny Arizona and San Diego... relaxing on the beach, exploring flea markets and having a wonderful time with Jim and JoAnn.

Layth turned the BIG 40! We had quite the shin-dig and he was properly introduced to a new decade.

My dad came for a visit and he rounded up all the NW grandkids for a picture with the grandparents. We sure did miss Kayla, Kendall and Kate who live on the other side of the country.

Keiton turned ONE in 2008. What joy! How yummy frosting is!

More 2008 in Review

2009-01-01T15:57:00.000-08:00

We managed to get all the Sunday Night Kids together for a picture. Impossible? Not with Paradise Photography. There's more on the way now as well... (not with us, sorry to get you excited there for a moment grandmas)

We spent a wonderful adult week in Milwaukee with Vance and Alicia at my dad's fantastic down-town condo. We had a great time exploring and also all ventured out on segways for the first time.

My hubby and I - great memories of Milwaukee and the waterfront

Soren and Layth went splunking in our corner kitchen cupboard!

So many great 2008 memories

2009-01-01T15:49:00.000-08:00

The entire Rowles Family got together for pictures

And went on a day-trip to Silver Creek Falls

We had more park, camping, outdoor adventures together

and many, many summer, spring and fall bike rides!

2008 also brought...

2009-01-01T15:43:00.000-08:00

a 4 year old! And my first dragon cake

Great times at our island vacation house - including a weeklong get-away filled with friends and family that visited us while we were there.

Camping and summer fun! Including our annual friend's group camping trip to Dorena Lake.

And, Keiton passed the 18 month mark

And the end of 2008 brought...

2009-01-01T15:39:00.000-08:00

Keiton turned 20 months

A snowstorm (the biggest in 40 years) descended upon us

Christmas took place - quiet and oh so different for us in many ways this year

But, we were together and that is what counts!

Thank you Lord for cherished memories and great times in 2008.

What will 2009 bring? STAY TUNED...

Kisses for Keiton

2008-12-29T19:37:00.000-08:00

Just humor me... this is written as a mom that is totally crazy about her boys.

Today's showcase... Keiton Valor. 20 months.

Some of you may wonder why in the world I cannot keep my lips (kisses) off Keiton and here's why. The proof speaks for itself and I'll bet by the time you're done looking at the next round of pictures, you'll be kissing the screen too. (think I'm biased at all?)

a little blurry, but oh, so cute. brushing teeth before church

Sunday afternoon. All grown up!

Are you thinking about kissing the screen yet?

It's hard to resist, isn't it?

If you've resisted so far...

2008-12-29T19:33:00.000-08:00

Than this ought to do the trick...

Or this... who can resist that perfect little-boy pout face? I know I can't and I see it quite often around here.
Even a face like this prompts kisses around here.

And, if you're not kissing the screen yet you are a much stronger person than I!

I love my little man!! What a blessed mom I am to have him in my life.

Two pictures...

2008-12-28T00:00:00.000-08:00

I just remembered these pictures and thought I'd post them because they're great (thank you JoAnn).

Layth and Soren with the lions in Molbaks. Thanksgiving weekend while at Shawn and Karins.

The Rowles family in front of the famous pointsettia tree at Molbacks.
Hmmm, I REALLY need a haircut!

Christmas 2008

2008-12-27T23:36:00.000-08:00

I'm terrible and hardly took ANY pictures this Christmas. In fact, you're getting them all. Sad, I know. We had a nice Christmas. Very different from any other we've ever had in most every way, but different is not always bad and my first shot at a prime rib roast turned out great (except that it was a litle too pink for me, but Layth says it was perfect! And that's what counts I guess.).

The Bowman's invited us over for dinner on Christmas Eve. We went over and had a fantastic meal - slow cooked beef brisket. Yum, it was GOOD! Then we went to the Salem Alliance Christmas Eve service and I thoroughly enjoyed that... and also ran into some people that are very near and dear to my heart that I don't see very often. After the service we returned to the Bowman's put the kids down and then talked about playing games, but instead ended up sitting and talking until after 11:00. It was a wonderful evening.

Christmas morning and day were quiet. Stockings in the morning and then a delicious breakfast compliments of my dad who sent it to us from Milwaukee! Gift opening and then playing all day, nap time, eating, that sort of thing. A good family day.

Soren after he woke up and before stockings

Soren's first look into the stocking

It's a long stocking and his arm couldn't reach the bottom. He thought it very silly that I would put an orange in the bottom of it. He laughed when he pulled it out. (by the way, the "big candy cane that is bigger than Keitons" - see post below - was in the stocking).

And Keiton with a case of great bed-head. He came out and was more interested in the candy on the floor from his brother's stocking than he was in opening his own stocking. I finally showed him that there was candy in his own stocking which made him much more interested in it. Here, he's trying to eat a Lindor Chocolate with the wrapping still on!

Snow Storm 08

2008-12-27T23:20:00.000-08:00

Or, ARCTIC BLAST 08 as the Newscasts like to call it. I'll jump on the band-wagon here and post about it too! We got our share of snow, that's for sure. It was REALLY fun for us because we live far enough north that we were caught in the Portland cold and snow zone, so on days that Salem and south didn't get snow (or just rain or a snowy mix) we got inches. We ended up with well over a foot when all was said and done. Plus, our power went out for 3 days and with the power goes our water (we have our own well)... quite the adventure.

I took pictures one of the very first days of the storm and then the camera battery died, the power went out and so I had no way to recharge it, the power came on the day it warmed up and started to melt (and I forgot to plug in the battery that day as well) so the only pictures I have to document the event are when we had a measly 4 or 5 inches. Small stuff compared to the reality of it all.

The boys in the snow (before I bought boots and gloves. I have a hard time buying snow stuff here in Oregon when you don't know if you'll ever use it! I broke down and by the time we were done, Keiton was outfitted in some hand-me-down boots and gloves and Soren had new stuff - that Keiton will use, Lord willing - someday too!)

Layth shoveled a path on our deck and Soren really wanted in the action as well. He did quite well. He'd heave the snow up over the railing there and drop it below.

Keiton trudging through the snow.

It was beautiful. It was amazing. At night I would looks outdoors at the total quiet of the winter wonderland and yearn for it to stay that way forever. Silent. Frozen. Pure. From where we are with our view and all, the snowstorm made it feel like we lived in a mountain chalet; our warmth came from our wood-stoves, our light came from flickering candles (OK, and a battery-powered camping tent light we have), our view was of snow laden trees and a valley of white below. Awesome actually. I'm sad it's come to and end.

A picture at Thanksgiving

2008-12-27T23:03:00.000-08:00

You would not believe how hard it was to get even THIS picture! My boys - all THREE of them - do not want to sit still, or smile NICELY, or even look at the camera. I had given up by this point... (this is about shot number 12) and you can see it in my face. This is my family of boys. The real us. I am so lucky!! There is never a dull moment in my life (or quiet one for that matter!). I love my boys. I'll take them any way they come.

Soren's Christmas Prayer

2008-12-25T23:26:00.000-08:00

His prayer today at brunch went like this:

Thank you God for comets, geysers, black holes and turtles.
Thank you God for Christmas and celebrating Jesus birthday.
And thank you God for mommy, daddy, Keiton and Soren.
And thank you God that we opened stockings.
And for my big candy cane in my stocking... that is bigger than Keitons.
Amen.

I think that about covers it...

FINALLY! Soren's 4th Birthday Pictures

2008-10-11T10:24:00.000-07:00

Soren is 4 years old... has been now for a couple of months, I've just not posted about it yet.

This year Soren requested a "Loving Dragon Cake" for his birthday. This is what I came up with when all was said and done. I have pictures of it closer up, but they're on a computer that is not functional at the moment so this is probably the only glimpse you'll get of it. I was pleased with how it turned out.

We had his official birthday part in Ellensburg with family. Here is Soren with his trademark "thumbs up" smile and the "loving dragon cake"

Soren blowing out his candles

Grandpa and Grandma gave Soren a bike! His first one. Here he is. Again, the trademark thumbs up.

Weekend O'Fun at the Island House

2008-09-10T10:16:00.000-07:00

The first weekend of our week trip the island house was kind of a "revolving door" of people. My mom and brother came up for a night, my sister came up for a night and the Taylors came up for a night. I lost my camera at one point and am so sad that I did not get more pictures to document what took place becuase we had a FANTASTIC time! We walked up and down the hill to the beach 3 times in one day (quite a feat if you've never been there), talked a ton, explored, picked blackberries for a delicious blackberry cobbler, laughed a lot, crabbed, played on the beach and on the playground, hiked around the island, ate a ton of food... and the weather was great for the most part.

Bringing the boat in after checking the crab pots

SUCCESS! Wyatt holding one of the larger crabs. We had enough to feed all of us as much crab as we wanted, plus some for Soren's birthday dinner (he LOVED it!).

Jazzmin made a lean-to on the beach. This is the day after they left. We went down to the beach and it was still there.

For some reason Layth was feeling destructive. Sorry Jazzmin!

Vacation at the Island House

2008-09-10T10:06:00.000-07:00

We spent a week at the island house. The longest I've ever stayed. It was the end of August and so my expectations and vision going into the week were one of sunning myself on the deck while the children frolicked happily about in the yard with no fighting, arguing or conflict. The picture in my head was near perfection. Well, it rained pretty much the whole time and was cold. But, we did manage to have a great time in spite of the weather. We got down to the beach most every day, played inside a lot, relaxed, watched a few movies, ate well, found enough good weather to have two campfires, celebrated Soren's birthday with cupcakes, etc. Here are some pictures.

Keiton - his first time on a "big boy" swing.

Oops, I guess he doesn't understand the concept because both his hands came off the chains here and I managed to capture it. (good thing Layth has quick reflexes! We removed him from the swing at this point).

Look what the tide washed in...

Keiton has some throwing arm... and good form too. He would spend ALL DAY throwing shells, rocks, sticks, etc into the water if I let him. It was by far his favorite thing to do at the island.

What is going on?

2008-09-10T09:55:00.000-07:00

Soren dresses himself now...

After studying the pictures below, can you tell what was so alarming to me?

Group Camping Trip 2008

2008-09-10T09:53:00.000-07:00

About a month ago we took our annual Group Camping Trip with the Bowmans, Lundes, Wests and Zunigas. We had a fantastic time playing on the playground with the kids, riding 7 miles into town for breakfast and a couple of hours at the park before heading back to the campsite, sitting around the campfire after the kids were in bed having ADULT talk, eating, laughing... the group camping trip has become one of the highlights of my summer every year.

Paul led us on an UPHILL evening bike ride to the dam. It was beautiful once we got up there... it was hard riding up pulling the trailer. But, the views were well worth it and here is the Rowles family at the top.

Fun in the tent.

Soren on the playground. Weird, huh?
o

More Camping Pictures

2008-09-10T09:42:00.000-07:00

Karis and Keiton - heading to the playground

Layth and Soren... I love how this picture turned out with the sun and lighting and all. Soren LOVED riding like this too. He and daddy took rides every evening.

This... not so nostalgic,,, or cute.

"Let Us Out!" Poor kids... look at their faces. How sad is that? Nathaniel, Keiton, Karis

Sunday Night Kids

2008-08-01T23:53:00.000-07:00

It's been 9 years now this past May that our Sunday Night Group ("Celebration") has been meeting faithfully on Sunday Nights. We started out as single young adults with a venue of prayer and worship and now have grown to families with kids and Sunday Nights in the Park during the summer.

This picture has been in the works for a while and Alysun of Paradise Photography was brave enough to try her hand at getting 10 kids ages 1 year to 4 years to sit still, smile and look at the camera... all at the same time. I'd say she did a pretty good job!

This picture will go down in history!

Nika, Soren, Benton, Rachel, Christian, Alex, Keiton, Joey, Nathaniel, Karis

By this time the kids were "done" so as the moms were setting them up we just decided spur of the moment to be in the picture as well. It turned out pretty good except for the weird lean thing I have going on!

A jumbles mass of heads and kids!

Hike at Silver Creek Falls

2008-08-01T23:09:00.000-07:00

While Gregg & Darcy and family were in town, we took the opportunity to spend the day together up at Silver Creek Falls.

Here we are on the hike. It was a perfect day to be up in the mountains near the falls for a hike. We had a great time and Soren hiked the entire 2.5 miles all by himself! He got tired towards the end, but never gave up. I was proud of him.

the hike... Soren, EJ, Anders, Layth with Keiton and behind them, Gregg, Darcy with Erik

Rowles Family Pictures

2008-08-01T23:04:00.000-07:00

The entire Rowles Family was together for the first time in close to two years (I think) a few weeks ago (we hail from Oregon, Washington and Michigan) and so we took the opportunity to spend 2 1/2 hours in the Sears Portrait Lab to have family pictures taken. Here are the results:

The entire family...
Gregg actually "belongs" with Darcy, but the photographer insisted we stand where we're located and how we're arranged for asthetic purposes. A little odd but hey, at least we're all family!

Grandpa Jim and Grandma JoAnn with all the grandkids

Our family

The second generation and their spouses... all with their hands on the correct spouse this time!

Interesting Quotes by Kids

2008-07-24T20:13:00.000-07:00

Just a little while ago Soren ran up to me and gave me a sponteous hug and said "Mommy, you're my favorite mommy. And I think you're cute. And you share things with me."

I thought it was incredibly sweet and it gave me some insight into his personality. Not did he just declare to me that I was his favorite mommy, but he gave me concrete reasons why. He's a thinker... and he won't give compliments or make statements that don't have real reasons behind them. It's consistent with the rest of his personality... he has a very hard time obeying unless he understands the reason why he should or should not do whatever is told him. If it doesn't make sense to him he'll fight it. Makes it difficult right now - for both us as the parents and him as the child, but will result hopefully in a fabulous adult because he will have worked hard to understand how and why things work around him. He'll do the right thing for more than the sake of "just doing the right thing" (which does have to be done sometimes I realize), he'll do it because the premise and reasons behind doing the right thing make sense to him. He takes time to think it all through.

He also states facts. Case in point... "You're cute, mommy".

I'm glad I'm his favorite mommy and I'm glad he came up with reasons why. It makes me feel loved.

Other quotables.

We had company arrive just as I put lunch out for Soren a couple of weeks ago and in the hubub of saying hi, giving hugs, and all of that I forgot to give Soren some milk. He kept trying ot get my attention and I kind of heard it, but didn't hear it being so distracted with excitement over our company (Layth's sister and family from Michigan) arriving. Soren finally started saying "mom, stop talking please. MOM! Can you please stop talking and get me some milk?" And then finally, "MOM, JESUS SAYS STOP TALKING!". THAT got my attention. He had milk very soon after.

The conclusion from this statement - Layth and I have tried to make it clear that we obey Jesus in our home. It looks like Soren has understood the concept. I'm glad. Now we just have to work on him using that as a manipulation tactic!

And, my nephew Anders (same age as Soren) when asked why the sky is blue:
"Because it's a clouds favorite color."

I couldn't have come up with anything better than that. Is that a line in a children's book? Does anyone know? If not, one of you writers out there needs to build a children's story centered around that line. I think its fantastic.

I've really wanted to post more pictures of milwaukee, but many of our pictures are with Vance and Alicia and the group rooms that we use to share photos (Costco) has been "upgrading" or whatever for several weeks now. So, as soon as they get all the bugs worked out and I can get my pictures I'll post some more. We had such a great time.

My boys

2008-07-16T21:46:00.000-07:00

They are the world to me... enough said. (I think the picture says it all)

A taste of Milwaukee

2008-07-03T11:20:00.000-07:00

More to come later...

This is what bowling does to my husband...

I think it ended in a stike.

Just ONE good picture PLEASE, honey

2008-07-03T11:17:00.000-07:00

All I wanted was a nice picture of us while we waited for the fireworks in Milwaukee to begin...

It must have been too much to ask!

Ellensburg

2008-07-03T11:09:00.000-07:00

After our weekend at the island, we went to Ellensburg for a few days. As usual, the park a couple of blocks away from grandpa and grandma's house was a huge hit with the boys. And Winegars homemade icecream was a huge hit with the adults!

Here they are swinging.

Here we are on the swing

I asked Soren to take a picture of us and he did a pretty good job I think!

Mother's Day and Island House

2008-07-03T11:04:00.000-07:00

On Mother's Day. The luckiest mom in the world with her two boys.

We spent a weekend at the island house in early June. Jim and JoAnn as well as Lori, Launa and James all joined us. It was about as "perfect" a weekend as they come.

The new fire pit. The boys enjoyed playing trucks around it and later we all enjoyed roasting hotdogs and marshmellows over it.

We spent quite a bit of time down at the beach. Collecting shells, throwing rocks into the water, sitting and talking, soaking up the sun, etc.

And, we all spent time relaxing. Here is Keiton in a rare still moment relaxing on his sleeping daddy.

A Telephone Conversation with Soren

2008-04-09T18:50:00.000-07:00

I'm in Virginia this week visiting my "little" brother and his family. I called home last night to talk to my boys and this is the conversation that Soren and I had:

Soren is given the phone...

Soren: What is your name? (no, "hi" or anything else, straight to business!)

Me: Hi Soren. This is mommy.

Soren: Is this my mommy?

Me: Yes, Soren, this is your mommy.

Soren: Are you still at Uncle Kenny's house?

Me: Yes, I am.

Soren: Do I have 5 more sleeps until you come home?

Me: No, you only have 3 more sleeps until I come home!

Soren: OK. Have fun. Bye.

I have to admit... I was hoping for an "I love you mommy" or an "I miss you mommy;" perhaps some news about what he's been up too... something like that. Oh well. I'm glad that he's having a great time with grandpa and grandma. It does look like we need to work on some phone edicut though... at least teach him to say "hi" when he gets on the phone! Less than 48 hours and I get to kiss on my boys!

Party Hat Fiasco...

2008-04-01T15:21:00.000-07:00

More to come soon on Keitons First Group Birthday Party (a few weeks early... I'll explain later.)

Keiton DID NOT like the party hat, needless to say... these pictures tell the story better that I ever could.

2008-03-28T16:04:00.000-07:00

I really need to blog more often because these "marathon blogs" take quite a while to post and my kids are only so patient! (I did begin while they were both asleep for naps, but they've now been up for quite some time).

This is progression shot taken after the Easter Egg Hunt Sunday afternoon. Pay close attention to Keiton in all of them and you'll see the "innocent?" rucous that he caused.

Here he is stealing Katie-Jane's eggs

Here, Katie-Jane is realizing that someone has stolen her eggs...

And, here she is trying to recover her stolen goods. I wonder if they'll ever be friends after this. It was entertainment for all the other kids at least.

Brothers on Easter. This is as good as I could get considering that I waited until evening to even try...

Easter the second time

2008-03-28T15:58:00.000-07:00

After Easter Service we headed out to some dear friends of ours for a FABULOUS potluck style dinner with about 15-20 others. We had a wonderful time and they had set up a huge easter egg hunt for all the kids that were present. Soren was ecstactic and even got an easter basket full of goodies, including bubbles!

Here is he looking for eggs

Here is Katie-Jane. I came around the corner and it was just TOO cute a picture to pass up so I snapped it fast. She is a sweetheart.

Soren was so excited about finding eggs that he thought this bird must be something he was suppsed to hunt as well. The egg was below the bird and I got to him before he actually pulled it off and ruined the birdhouse!

Soren and Miranda. All done with the Easter Egg Hunt.

Easter Again...

2008-03-28T15:53:00.000-07:00

On Saturday our church hosted an Easter Egg Hunt. Soren had a total blast and was thrilled with all of his candy-filled eggs (we're still working our way through all that he collected!) and Keiton was just happy to throw the eggs around. In the one picture, you can see the egg in mid-air. His eggs lay scattered all around and behind him within just a few minutes of sitting down. I bet that by next year he'll know their secret and he won't let them anywhere out of his sight!

There's nothing like recycling outfits! Here are my two boys:

Soren on Mothers Day '05. ABout 9 months

Keiton on Easter Day '08. About 11 months.

If I had remembered the pose that Soren was in, I would have taken one of Keiton that was much more similar. This was the closest I could find though of the expressions... and it's not really very good of either, but it allows me to contrast. I still don't think they look anything alike!

And, I just have to bring this up again for old times sake. This is Soren on his first Easter. We were in a hurry after Easter Morning Breakfast at our place and I asked Layth if he would put Soren's shoes and socks on. He obliged like any good husband would and even took him directly to the car and strapped him in the carseat. It wasn't until we were at church and I pulled him out of the carseat that I saw the "damage". Red sock and blue striped tennis shoes on EASTER MORNING. Then I understood the smirk that framed Layth's face all the way to church that morning. Layth still thinks it's hilarious. I remember vacilating between furious and amused. As soon as we got home Soren had a photo shoot to log the event for all times.

Soren!

2008-03-28T15:22:00.000-07:00

One night a couple of weeks ago long after I had put the kids to bed, I came back to my bed and found this photo op. Soren had moved himself to our bed and with him he brought a forest full of rabbits, lining them all up just right under the blankets and with their heads on the pillows leaving him not much room, actually. It was too cute to pass up. He has 5 rabbits and many times if he requests one to sleep with, he requests all 5. We don't want to leave any of them out.

We went to Burger King one day a few weeks ago for lunch with Benton and Soren had to get a crown. Here, he put it on all by himself and is wearing it proudly. (I had to take a picture because of the ears sticking out). Too cute.

And, on Easter we decorated eggs. Here are some of the materpieces that Soren created. He said his favorite one was the one in the middle; the blue one with the mustache.

Keiton!

2008-03-28T15:15:00.000-07:00

This was taken a few weeks ago now, but Keiton loves to stand at anything and he's especially fond of his little play table. His friend, Nathaniel came over one night and they played at it together for quite a while, stopping only to pose for a quick picture for me.

Just a cute picture... and it shows how big he is getting...

This is what has been happening most every time I pull out the camera to take a picture of Keiton. He instinctively knows its a picture and will pull this uplifted, scrunched up, very adorable (I might add) and charming?... face. In this particular instance I tried about 9 or 10 times to get a "natural" smile out of him and I never did.

Hello and Painful Goodbye

2008-03-18T18:44:00.000-07:00

Please remember my friends, Nathan and Brooke in your prayers... Nathan (his "daddy") says it much better than I. I read his post while holding my 11 month old in my arms.

KEITON 10 MONTHS

2008-02-19T13:02:00.000-08:00

Here he is... my sweet boy. He is a joy; a total joy.

PICTURES WITH GRANDPA AND GRANDMA

2008-02-19T13:00:00.000-08:00

My dad came into town for the week and suggested that we gather up all the grandkids in the area for a picture with he and my mom (grandma). We got several taken and then had sibling breakouts and other pictures as well. It was a fun day. After our picture adventure we all went to Red Robin for lunch and then finally home for naps. It was really nice to all be together for the morning and afternoon. The only sad thing about it... we all missed the KAL Pals!! It just wasn't quite complete without them.

Keiton, Soren, Tim, dad (grandpa Ralph), mom (Grandma Lila), Ja,es, Moriah, Launa, Lilly

My boys...

The Boy Cousins. All of them!

The Girl Cousins. (minus Ken's 3 - Kayla, Kendall and Kate)

Maybe someday we'll ALL be together for a picture.

VALENTINE'S DAY

2008-02-19T12:54:00.000-08:00

Keiton on Valentine's Day holding a card that Grandpa Jim and Grandma JoAnn sent him. He was quite proud of it.

Another of Keiton

LAYTH'S 40TH BIRTHDAY PARTY

2008-02-19T12:52:00.000-08:00

Yes, its true... Layth is now 40. We had a big party for him. It was quite the event.

The Rowles Family on Layth's Birthday

The cake table

Singing Happy Birthday and blowing out the candles. He had 3 or 4 three year olds standing right up next to him to help out in case he was too old to blow them out himself. He did just fine.

MORE PICTURES OF THE 40TH B-DAY PARTY

2008-02-19T12:39:00.000-08:00

sign-in table

Layth annoucing the answers to the game "Layth Trivia" and opening gifts

Roast and Toast - a great roast by Vance

The food

KEITON 9 MONTHS

2008-02-19T12:29:00.000-08:00

This is what Keiton did on his 9 month "birthday". January 18.

Ahh, and this is what I did on Keiton's 9 month birthday!

ARIZONA DESERT

2008-02-19T12:07:00.000-08:00

In the middle of January we took a week and headed down to Arizona where we got dental work done and visited Grandpa and Grandma (Layth's parents) while staying in the RV in the middle of the desert. Here are some pictures. Afterwe were done in Arizona we headed to San Diego for a few nights to enjoy the surf and sun. (see next post)

Grandpa Jim and Soren stop for a picture while on a hike.

Home Sweet Home! 6 people and 2 dogs stayed in this 5th Wheel for 4 nights!

Soren and Keiton playing on the desert sand. (it's January here!)

Soren and Grandpa Jim hunting for "dinosaur eggs" (rocks). They found quite a few!

SAN DIEGO

2008-02-19T12:01:00.000-08:00

For the San Diego part of our trip we stayed at a hotel right on the beach. Here are some photos.

The Rowles family sitting on the deck of our hotel room

Every day we fed the birds. It was one of the high-lights for Soren

Our hotel. It wa great to have the fenced area because it was like a big sandbox. Soren spent a lot of time in it playing and i didn't have to worry about him getting too far away or a wave washing him away.

Soren and grandma playing in the "sandbox"

CHRISTMAS

2008-02-19T11:55:00.000-08:00

Keiton's First Christmas. He got into the spirit very well.

Soren opening his stocking on Christmas morning

THANKSGIVING

2008-02-19T11:42:00.000-08:00

A family picture taken at Thanksgiving... it was supposed to be done up for Christmas cards, but it never made it that far. There's always next year, I suppose.

More Conversations with Soren

2008-01-25T22:31:00.000-08:00

I have about a billion pictures to post... Christmas, New Years, our trip to Arizona and San Diego, Keiton 9 months old, Other various... and maybe someday I'll get to them. We're having computer issues with the computer that we download the photos too. Someday it'll be up and running again like it should.

A couple of recent conversations with Soren though should make an interesting read.

The other night at dinner he invited us all to join him at college. Here's how the conversation went:

Me: What college are you going to go to?

Soren: I'm going to go to college like Steve (Blue's Clues) and learn to sing.

Me: That's great. You're going to sing at college, huh?

Soren: Yes, (turning to Layth), Daddy, do you want to go to college with me?

Layth: I've already been to college, Soren

Soren: Oh, you can come to college with me. And mommy can come. And Keiton can come. We'll all go to college together.

Isn't that sweet? I'm going to remind him when he's 18. I think I'll join him at college for a short while; just to fulfill his childhood dream of having his family there with him.

And, he has officially decided what he wants to be and do when he grows up. This is a different conversation. This is all on his own, every detail, the mention of college first (we weren't talking about it at all), we haven't talked about this subject or seen videos or anything in months.

Me: Soren, what do you want to be when you grow up?

Soren: After college I want to go to the Marching Band

Me: You want to be in a Marching Band?

Soren: Yes, and I'm going to wear drums around my neck and march.

Me: So, you're going to play drums in the Marching Band?

Soren: Yes, and I will need a new shirt; a Blue shirt.

Me: A blue shirt?

Soren: Yes. And I am going to march all the way home.

He went on to say that the following people are going to be in his marching band playing the following instruments:

Benton: the saxaphone
Keiton: the french horn
Nika: the guitar
Me: the piano
Layth: the trumpet
and someone was going to play the cymbals, but I can't remember who.

He has obviously thought about this in great detail because he knows the drums are going to be around his neck and to be in this particular marching band he will need a BLUE shirt.

I was ecstatic. Layth didn't really know what to think.

That's about it. I need to start recording his prayers every night because they are so sweet and he comes up with the craziest things...

He is a joy.

Soren the Encourager

2007-12-14T09:24:00.000-08:00

Over the last several months or so it has become obvious to us that Soren's "Love Language" is that of Words of Affirmation. He is amazing... constantly saying "good job, mom!" and "I'm proud of you" and "great job". He especially likes to say "great job mom" when I say yes to a request he'll make. For example

Soren: "May I please have a graham cracker?"

Mom: "Yes Soren, you may"

Soren: "Did you say yes to Soren?"

Mom: "Yes, I did Soren. You may have a graham cracker"

Soren: "Ohh, great job, mom!"

The other day at CBS Bible Study the kids came in and sang for us. I couldn't see Soren from where I was sitting and so I got up and stood in the back. About 1/2 way through and between songs he spotted me and totally lit up exclaiming "Mom I see you! " and then pointing he said "that's my mommy." Everyone said "ohhh" and "isn't that sweet" as all the ladies turned to see who this adorable kids mommy was. My heart burst with pride and love for the child. So sweet. "Ya, that's mine" I wanted to say... out loud. (I didn't - but I was beaming).

But, that's not the story I was going to write about. The story I want to highlight has to do with his love language and how he searches for something to say that is encouraging.

On the way home from Bible Study that morning we had a conversation that went like this:

Me: Soren, you did such a good job singing today. I'm very proud of you.

Soren: Thank you mom. I'm proud of you too.

Me: You are? Well thank you Soren.

Soren: Ya, you did a great job of..... standing...... on your feet!

It was so cute. He searched and searched his brain to come up with SOMETHING to affirm me on and finally found something. I was standing while he was singing and apparently I do a very good job of that; and not just of standing, but standing ON MY FEET! Make it known everywhere.

He's a sweetie. Here's a picture taken of him at Thanksgiving.

Words a mother longs to hear...

2007-11-13T22:10:00.000-08:00

Today I took Keiton to the doctor and as we entered the exam room Soren found a chair, sat in it quietly and very grown up like, and proceeded to make small talk with the nurse (about his Blue's Birthday video, his next birthday, about how mom "squished the marshmallows and then cooked the cereal", etc - so the secret's out, I made rice krispy treats today, I admit it - but it's not something you want your kid telling his doctor! I'm supposed to feed him spinach and brussel sprouts for his morning snack to be a "good mom"). Anyways, the nurse was quite entertained and they had a great little conversation. She finally said, "I bet I can guess how old you are. How old are you?" to which Soren replied "I'm three" very proudly. Then she said this... it is a moment and a phrase I will never forget and since it will probably be the only time I ever hear it in my life I thought it worthy of documenting on the blog.

"You are one of the most well-behaved three year olds I have ever met."

There it is... just 15 words, but they made my heart swell with pride and then I hoped she would be done really soon and leave the room quickly before her (obviously correct) impression of him changed. I knew that it probably wouldn't take long.

It's a good thing I don't have a self-image complex...

2007-11-10T10:41:00.000-08:00

because living with a 3 year old could do some major damage if I did.

Here are two conversations we've had in the last week or so, several days apart.

Soren: "mommy, you have a big neck"
Me: I do? Does Soren have a big neck?
Soren No, Soren has a little neck
Me: well, how about daddy? Does he have a big neck or little neck?
Soren Daddy has a little neck like Soren
Me: Hmmm, so daddy and Soren both have little necks, but mommy has a big one?
Soren: Yes, mommy has a BIG (emphasized) neck.

And, a few days later he comes to me with this out of the blue:

Soren: Mommy, you have a BIG (this time from the beginning it was emphasized with a long, drawn out B I G) nose
Me: I do? Does daddy have a big nose?
Soren: No, daddy has a little nose and Soren has a little nose. daddy has a little nose like Soren.
Me: Oh, well, what about Keiton?
Soren Keiton has a little nose too. Daddy has a little nose, Soren has a little nose, Keiton has a little nose and mommy has a B I G nose.

So, there you have it. Apparently, I have a large neck and a very BIG nose. He sure is hilarious with some of the things he comes up with. I need to start a notebook because I know that I've had many a laugh and have forgotten most of the comments already. Sometimes it's simply the body language he uses as well. Or the context. The other day after eating a couple of spoonfuls of icecream he put down his spoon and said "my mouth is sad". I knew right away what he meant and so I said "oh, is your mouth cold?" and he said, "yes, my mouth is cold and so its sad."

Little kids are so creative. (by the way, his mouth didn't stay "sad" for long! and he was back at the icecream again. That's my kid!).

I should be doing other things right now like dishes, laundry, cleaning, sorting, sweeping, mopping, organizing, baking, dusting, etc, but today I've not much motivation. Maybe after a nap I'll feel better...

Welcome to the newest member of the family

2007-11-05T20:02:00.000-08:00

Welcome to my new Nephew:

Erik David joins Greg & Darcy and brothers E.J and Anders
Born November 3rd
8 pounds 14 1/2 oz

I get to meet him this summer!

Guess Who?

2007-11-05T19:36:00.000-08:00

You may not recognize the two people on this post, but it is actually Soren (not Bob the Builder) and Keiton (not the famous "Drooling Redhaired Cowboy" you've been hearing so much about).

Soren borrowed the hat and vest to be Bob the Builder from Benton. Thanks Benton!

Keiton the Drooling Cowboy (check out the bottom of his chin) was given his costume by a lady at church (thanks Tami!) and then a hat taht was borrowed from, again, the Lunde costume closet.

I can't decide if this picture is scary or cute... what do you think?

We went to a local church's Harvest Party and it was a ton of fun. Totally reminded me of the old school carnivals. Soren had a great time and we all came away with a ton of candy!

Day trip to the Coast

2007-11-05T19:16:00.000-08:00

We took a day trip a couple of weeks ago to the coast. It was a beautiful day and we had a ton of fun. We don't do many day trips so this was a rare treat. We left our house around 9:00, stopped at Great Harvest for a slice of bread and coffee, headed to the coast, made a stop at the oulets, had lunch and then on to the Aquarium where we spent the entire afternoon. Soren Loved the aquarium and ran from tank to tank investigating. He had a really great time. Afterwards we went to a park for an hour or so and then onto Seakrest, a lodge right on the coast, where Campus Ambassadors was having their annual fall retreat. We were just going to stop in for a minute to say hi, but upon arriving Layth found out that dinner was curry chicken with a coconut peanut butter sauce and we were invited to stay. There was no discussion, we stayed. Through dinner and then through the evening. We arrived back home after 10:00 that night. What a great day. Here are some pictures to document our adventure:

Soren and I "in" the crab tank

Soren and Layth spent quite a bit of time at the tank where you could touch the animals.

It is late here... we were saying our goodbyes at Seakrest and getting ready to leave for home when I realized that we'd not taken a family picture all day. So, here we are on the last leg of our day trip to the coast adventure.

More Aquarium Pictures

2007-11-05T19:12:00.000-08:00

The sea otter had a lot of fun with Soren and Layth especially. Layth had the sea otter so wound up that a crowd gathered to watch.

This is what Keiton did at the Aquarium.

More stuff

2007-11-05T17:16:00.000-08:00

Here are some more "random" pictures taken recently:

Keiton making his first mess... and I caught him with his hand in the "cookie jar" so to speak to prove it. He had the basket totally emptied and I'm not quite sure how he even reached it from where he was sitting. It's the first of MANY messes, I'm sure.

This is the way Keiton likes to sleep. He pulls the blanket over his head and most of the time i walk in to find just two little feet sticking out the bottom. It's cute... and concerning sometimes to me. I have to make sure I don't put too heavy a blanket on him!

We go running 3 to 4 times a week with our double jogging stroller. Layth pushes it to the half way mark and then I push it the rest of the way. Usually when we're done we find Keiton asleep on Soren's shoulder. The other day we got a surprise when we opened the flap. Here's what we found. (it was quite cold that morning by the way which is why the hood and blankets).

SOLD OUT!!

2007-10-19T13:26:00.000-07:00

I think I Finally get it... I'm not supposed to run a 1/2 marathon at this point in my life.

I had not yet registered for the 1/2 this weekend because you can register up to the morning of the race, I'd already missed the free t-shirt deadline and so there was no real incentive to registering early. I decided this morning that I should register now though just so that it would save me time the morning of race day. I went online to register and here's what I found:

"Sorry: Sorry Girlfriends, we are full! Being our first year, we never imagined we would reach 400 participants! Registration is closed so we can provide the type of experience we envisioned. Please come back next year. Thanks for your interest!"

A newspaper article dated Tuesday, October 16th indicated that it was full at that time, so at least I didn't miss it by like one day, or a few hours or something like that. It was several days.

Still, I'm devastated and extremely disappointed. There are no other 1/2's to run anytime soon anywhere near here so I guess I'll have to put the whole thing on hold.

I kind of wish now that I'd figured out I wasn't supposed to run when my achilles tendon went out on me a couple of months ago. This has been a roller-coaster ride.

Time to get off the coaster for now.

UPDATE on 1/2 Marathon Training

2007-10-12T09:55:00.000-07:00

So, many of you know that just after my 10 mile run I slightly injured my achilles tendon. Enough so that I could not run due to the pain knowing I would do some major damage (last time I trained for a marathon, I kept running with pain and ended up in physical therapy for two months!).

I basically had decided that the 1/2 wasn't going to happen this time around. Well, after two weeks the pain subsided when walking and so I waited for about a week, went and bought an ankle wrap and... ran last Friday pain free! I had taken a total of 3 weeks off from running.

The Leavenworth 1/2 is this weekend (tomorrow, actually) and I made the tough call to say that I'm not ready to run 13.1 miles after taking three weeks off with only a week to get back in shape. But, I found another 1/2 in Vancouver for next weekend (the 21st) and so I'm going to run that. Last night was the real test of my ankle strength. 9 miles (in the rain) and it felt great and today everything feels fine too. That will be my longest runbefore the 1/2 because now I'll start my taper with 4-6 mile runs until the big day. I've had to give up my "dream time" and be realistic about it all. It will be great if I can simply run the whole thing without stopping. The weakest part of my run last night were my legs. Cardiovascularly I felt great, my ankles felt fine, but my legs felt fatigued so we'll see.

I am very excited about it and nervous at the same time. The reward for finishing this particular 1/2 marathon... chocolate! That'll get me to the finish line fast. It's an all women's 1/2 marathon called the "Girlfriends Half Marathon". Should be fun. Unfortunately, Layth won't be able to be there to watch me run, but my mom is coming down to cheer me on and watch the boys.

This is...

2007-10-04T21:50:00.000-07:00

Keiton...

This is...

Soren's feet - in the air. Vance's hands on the left, Layth's hands on the right.
I don't even know what else to say about it... it's quite an amazing shot, I think.

(thanks for capturing the moment, Andrea)

Many new posts below.

First Food for Keiton

2007-10-04T21:45:00.000-07:00

Here are the pictures of Keiton's first experience with "real food". He didn't really know what to think the first couple of times he was given rice cereal, but after he got the hang of it, he now very much enjoys his food. Here is a progression series:

Ready to eat

Very first spoonful

MORE PLEASE!

Dinner at our house

2007-10-04T21:39:00.000-07:00

The following are pictures of all of us taken one night at dinner. This is a typical dinner for us. Although Keiton now sits in his highchair.

I didn't get any canning done this year... we were gone, too busy when we finally got home and the budget didn't allow (we're doing Dave Ramsey... ). Although, I did get a few quarts of homemade tomato sauce made (thanks to our neighbors who supplied the tomatoes!) and from it made several quarts of very good homemade spaghetti sauce which I have frozen. Also, my in-laws provided us with a box of peaches and two boxes of apples from their trees. The peaches are cut and frozen (thanks for the help JoAnn) after a very good peach cobbler was made, and the apples will be done early next week. Applesauce. And, a couple of days ago a friend came over (thanks Deanna) and helped me make up a very large batch of "first foods" for Keiton. Good stuff like Acorn Squash, Butternut Squash, Pears, Apples and Sweet Potatoes. It should last him for quite a while.

They Grow Up Fast!

2007-10-04T21:30:00.000-07:00

Keiton sits up on his own now... Here are some pictures taken tonight just before bedtime. It really is nice to simply set him down in a room without having to prop him up (although I still do on hard wood floors and if I'm going to leave the room at all) and do whatever I have to do. Time has flown by and I can hardly believe that not only does he eat "real food" now, he's sitting up. Soren saw me taking pictures and couldn't resist the opportunity to smile for the camera. He actually came over and sat down next to Keiton unsolicited and put his arm around him all on his own so that I could take a picture. I didn't even have to ask.

This morning Keiton woke up before Soren and so I went in and got Keiton out of his crib and when Soren got up he went and told Layth that he looked for Keiton to say good morning to him but he was gone! He was very concerned until he saw that I had him. I'm glad that Soren is looking out for his little brother. It warms this mother's heart.

I Felt the Earthquake

2007-09-24T10:48:00.000-07:00

Experienced my first earthquake last night. I was sound asleep at 11:20 when it hit, but my dream was interrupted by a loud "boom" of sorts and then the shaking began. I awoke fully immediately and laid there as the house creaked while it swayed, wondering how long it would last and if I should run in and check on the boys. It didn't last long, only a few seconds, but it sure did get my adrenaline going as I laid there for the next 1/2 hour going through all the possibilities of what it "might have been" and finally concluding that it had to have been an earthquake.

This morning it prompted an argument between Layth and I as he slept through the whole thing and insisted the house did NOT shake last night about 11:30. I went online and checked news and of course, there it was as I knew it would be. I've let him know.

The epicenter... Brooks Oregon. A mile (if that) from where we live! Very exciting.

I Just Finished 10 Miles...

2007-09-15T11:35:00.000-07:00

Running, that is! I'm on my way to the 1/2 marathon in just a few weeks. I have one more long run in two weeks - 12 miles - and then two weeks after that (the 13th) it's Half Marathon Day in Leavenworth.

I ran the 10 miles in just under a 9 1/2 minute mile pace which I think is great considering that fact that I had a baby via c-section less than 5 months ago, I still have about 15 pounds of babyweight that needs to come off, and, I was up with a 3 year old that had a nightmare ("the sand kept getting my legs") for an hour somewhere in the middle of the night last night. My goal is to just be able to finish the 1/2 marathon, but my "dream" goal is to do it in 10 minute miles or less. The registration form says that the course is not one you'll probably PR on... I would guess it has something to do with the TWO MILE Ascent at one point during the run.

In other news - we get to go look for a new dishwasher this evening. It's turning out to be a mighty fine day.

2007-09-07T09:41:00.000-07:00

I kind of posted these backwards... We just spent almost two weeks on the road - in the Seattle area and then over in Ellensburg.

This was the last day of our trip. Labor Day and a perfect last day of summer. We went up to Teanaway and had a picnic, played in the river and Layth, Jim and I took a hike. The weather was fantastic and it was very relaxing. I think we've found our annual Labor Day outing!

I took a picture as we started our hike (climb) of JoAnn and the kids below.

"Cheese Rock" - Layth came here as a kid and our goal when we set out on the hike was to find the rock. We found it.

A huge slab of rock that extended to the left, right and behind even further than this picture depicts.

Soren played in the river all day. He loved it and tears were shed when it was time to leave.

The Hike

2007-09-07T09:34:00.000-07:00

More pictures from the hike

"Well, if we're looking for the fastest way down, I think I know a shortcut..."

Layth out on a ledge

Betsy (ya, I sat on the edge instead of standing on it.) It was a sheer drop off for several hundred feet!

Views on our hike

Fun at the Fair

2007-09-07T09:22:00.000-07:00

Every year we spend Labor Day weekend in Ellensburg going to the fair and rodeo (and Winegars - a fantastic homemade icecream place!). This year, Soren went on his very first fair rides!

Soren and Layth at the fair

Soren on his first fair ride! - the Squadron!

Fun with Family

2007-09-07T09:13:00.000-07:00

The first part of our trip comprised of several days at Layth's brother's house in the Seattle area. The men took off and put on a new roof, the ladies and kids played, and Karin fed us like kings and queens! We were there on Soren's actual birthday day.

Soren blowing out his breakfast birthday candles (with some help!)

Grandma JoAnn treated the grandkids to an icecream cone! Here are the results.

Keiton - a week over 4 months

Soren - 3 years old!